Two Headed Beast

–  Gave Franklin a hug upon arrival this morning.  Nothing new.  Except the dude was DRENCHED!
–  I found out too late and I think a little got in my mouth…  So that’s how I started my day.
–  He says he ran in but I think he pushed his car the whole way.
–  YHC had the over/under at 12 PAX today.
–  We had 12 PAX at 0539
–  Khakis being one.  That was awkward.  He didn’t know what to do with the eleven minutes he had.  Don’t expect him to be that early again.
–  Like FWD it was nice having smaller numbers.  It’s just our smaller numbers is basically twice the numbers of FWD.
–  17 PAX at FOD today.
–  So just speaking mathematically, FWD is half the man(s) that FOD is.  Just sayin.
–  Due to anger issues I made sure to over explain everything we did today.  Then everyone was grumpy that I was over explaining.  I can’t win.  Going back to my old ways.
–  I write out my workouts ahead of time then kinda memorize it by morning.  This one was THE shortest one I ever wrote.  It was 12 words.  (They will be listed below)
–  I too wanted to work the upper body muscles (same strategy as Hermes.  #tipthecap)
–  See you for the EC run Cally, Large, Hermes, and Co.
–  ^ probably…if I don’t snooze again…
–  Nature Boy thanked and praised me for burpees during the beast yet he was so busy being Mr. Chatty Cathy that he only did 5 sets.
–  I had to get on some of you about your form today.  Sometimes it’s not about speed, fellas.  6 terrible merkins don’t do much for you.
–  I’m going to start calling bad form #dadbod and good form #beachbod
–  Not Freebird.  Dude has perfect form!
–  How about leading off with the NMS?  Eh?  You like it nor naw?  Just felt like talking to you guys first before getting in to the serious business of what we did today…think it over.  Hit me up in the comments…

Warm Up
–  10 x Good Morning IC
–  15 x Cotton Picker IC
–  10 x Hillbilly IC
–  15 x Merkins Single
–  20 x SSH

Two Headed Beast
[Scene:] Pax grab a Medium/Large (Marge) rock, drop it outside the turf field gate then enter the arena.
Beast One will be on the field and Beast Two will be by the shelter
Beast One will be 6 stops around the field
Beast Two will be 6 different exercises repeated each round (no running)
Each round of Beast we ended with Freddy Mercurys while waiting for the 6 and we alternated back and forth Beast 1 Round 1, Beast 2 Round 1, Beast 1 Round 2, etc….
[End scene]

Beast 1
Merkins, Burpees, Wide Merkins, Star Jumps, Diamond Merkins, Australian (Pushups or Mtn Climbers, or just Mtn Climbers depending on fatigue)

Beast 2
Rock Curls, Presses, and Squats and at the shelter Pull-Ups, Box Jumps, Dips

–  MULE:  About 4 hands went up when asked who’s going.
–  Hoser:  Our FNG is from Canadia.  He gave us the history behind the name hoser because we –  didn’t know because we’re not from the Canadia land.  Great story, you should ask him!!
–  Beer Mile:  4 quarter mile laps, 4 beers, 0 hangovers.
–  PA:  Compound W and Khakis are PAs, NOT DOCTORS.  We don’t need any lawsuits…
–  Biner:  Cont prayers for M!!  Stay strong, guys!!
–  Bones:  18 week checkup for his baby!  Prayers for good health!!

Workout Date:
The PAX:


  1. Callahan

    Yo,so this NMS at the front thing…

    At first, before I even opened the BB from the front page, the preview showed that you led with the NMS and I was prepared to wage unholy war on your soul. I opened the full BB, and sure enough, you led with the NMS. My jaw dropped all the way to the desk, then I backed up and my jaw fell all the way to the floor, then I stood up and accidently tripped over my own jaw and fell headfirst into the wall, smashing through the drywall and into my neighbor’s office.

    He was like, “Bro, what the what?” All I could think to say was, “He led with the NMS.” He didn’t know what that meant (don’t worry, working on the EH now), but he was kind enough to offer some sort of unknowing solace, adding “Bro, does he even bro?”

    I don’t know what that meant, but I’m pretty sure he spends too much time at the crossfit studio with sad clown makeup all over his perfectly chiseled jaw. I’m serious, y’all. You could sharpen knifes on that thang.

    Anyway, I read through the pre-NMS and realized that all the pertinent information to me was located in that section. I don’t care what y’all did this AM in the gloom. Y’all could have picked weeds (lookin’ at you, Banjo) for all I care. But what I really needed to know, the essence of what F3 is all about, that was found in the NMS. It was perfect. Did I need to know you all did a double beast this morning? Absolutely not. But you wanna know what I DID need to know? I needed to know that Shutty likes drinking man-sweat. I needed to know that Freebird’s form resembles the grace from which he has earned his namesake. I needed to know that I’m not the only one who freaks out and doesn’t know what to do with my hands when I’m at the AO any earlier than 90 seconds before the beatdown begins. That’s relevant. So…how do I feel about leading with the NMS?

    I sorta liked it!


    Probably just don’t mess with a good thing, bro. If you start leading with dessert, ain’t nobody gunna stick around for the main course. Ya dig?

  2. Shut-In

    Yeah I hear ya. It won’t be the norm. Just felt freed to lead and chat it up first. Hit you hard up front like Franky did my face.

    So did you draw a line in the sand. You a Team FWD 4Lyf or will you switch back and forth?

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