The following is a true story based on real events that took place in the early morning hours of Friday January 27, 2017. Names have been changed to protect those involved.
Remember when your mom told you that you watched too much TV. Well you can ring her up today and tell her that all that mindless boob tube, which was only 3 channels, finally payed off. Haha, we showed you ma’. Six men showed up for the 0500 ruck and a ton more would join us physically and even more would be with us in spirit. What happened next really happened.
Warm up
Arm Circles
Whip It! (To the song ‘Whip It’ by Devo – SSH, do a burpee every time you hear the word ‘whip’)
Main Event
YHC was struggling Thursday to come up with something new for the group on Friday morning. Sure, we could put them through a mindless litany of merkins, derkins, erkins, monkey humpers, and other ridiculously named exercises that has every FNG wondering why are these guys obsessed with prosthetic hair for your naughty bits(trust me, every FNG eventually googles merkin). YHC decided that what was missing from today’s TV was good theme songs. You know, those theme songs that were almost as long as the actual show and will be stuck in your head until the day you die. We would play a game where a TV theme song from our past would be played and the first PAX to get the name of the show would call out the next exercise. We started out a little slow but eventually Band Camp snuck in on a technicality with ‘That show after Magnum with the two brothers’.
Set List:
Simon and Simon
WKRP
Hawaii Five-O
Hill Street Blues
Magnum PI
The Fall Guy
Threes Company
CHIPS
Love Boat
Perfect Strangers
Doogie Howser
The Benny Hill Show
Rockford Files
Breaking Bad
TJ Hooker
All in all 15 theme songs were played and tons of exercises were completed. The PAX had good time trying to come up with the titles and remembering shows they had forgotten about. Eddie The Eagle watched a lot of TV. Next, we moved on and broke up into 2 groups. Two men from each group would carry a Bulgarian Training Bag and a cinder block and run the circle around the swampy, sess pool thingy that looks like something Voorhies might currently be living in. They would call out an exercise for their group to complete while they ran. Next, a fan favorite, the bear crawl indian run around said sess pool. Time was running out and Dean Wormer was thinking about whacky tobbacky and how a 20 year old Dean Wormer would have needed some of that to even think about bear crawling. We picked up our gear and headed back the AO to circle up for as many merkins as we could pump out.
Mary
merkins x 56
Announcements
Ronald McDonald Team Meal this Sunday. Over $1200 raised and 10 volunteers to cook!
New site coming for Thursday, probably Carborro HS – 0530 with a 0500 EC 5k run
Possible Saturday morning site in Chapel Hill?
We are now officially Churham!
COT
Thanks to Te’o for making the journey over to Chapel Hill to join us, even tho he gave away his exercise pick to a PAX who will remain nameless(hint: starts with Co ends with co) who made us perform quadruple merkin burpees) You’re welcome anytime brother!
Welcome FNG Chitlin’
Think of the insanity of playing a game, getting the correct answer and then punishing yourself and the men around you with quadruple merkin burpees. That is what’s great about F3. We’re all in this together and we all support and value each other. So much so that we make each other carry heavy objects and bear crawl because we want each man to be better. If I push you harder that will make both of us stronger in all aspects of life. Go out today and be the best man, husband, father, partner, brother, uncle, or whatever you are in your community. Until we meet again in the gloom, Aye!
