3 pax came to celebrate the marriage of the greatest college football player ever to the greatest (?) professional football organization ever…too bad the Ohioan pax could not make the morning.



Texas plains Windmills

Good (hung-over) mornings

Imperial walkers (AKA Crimson Tide)…getting wrecked upon


Running circles around SEC defenders

Run down the parking deck corkscrew, 10 merkins at bottom

Run up the parking deck corkscrew, 10 merkins at top

Run down the parking deck corkscrew, 10 merkins at bottom

30 total merkins for 30 rushing TDs in 2 seasons (AKA Russian TDs because he just went over and took them)


Through the air – Flights

Run up 6 flights of stairs

10 merkins at each level’s landing (13 merkins at top landing)

63 total merkins for 63 passing TDs in 2 seasons


4.5 40 – 4 rounds of 5 exercises along 40 yard dash

Run down length of hypothetical 40 yard long parking deck

Stop at 4 light posts on the way down for 10 merkins, 10 Carolina dry docks, 10 air squats, 10 jump lunges; in order

Run all the way back and complete with 10 burpees

Repeat 3x more times


Including the merkins contained within a burpee, 173 total merkins…the quarterback passer rating of 2013.  Not including those, 133 total merkins…the passer rating in 2014 with the browns.


People’s choice Mary (because JFF is a man of the people)


“Kicked out of Manning camp” WWIIs – 25x

Repeated WWIIs because they want him to come back

“Bicycles because that’s what other Cleveland quarterbacks will on during games next year” – 22x (for draft number)

Dolly Partons for number of Browns season tickets remaining on Friday – 0x

“Texas Hill Country Horned Toads” Froggers – 15x





Don’t have a limp near Floyd’s Ms. while she holds a hammer.