As the brainchild of F3 Chapel Hill’s first-ever #HellWeek, the innocent-enough email from Kim Jong Still a few weeks ago seemed to make a lot of sense. Let’s kick the level of each workout in F3 Chapel Hill up a few notches.  Each site Q takes his own workout and tries to outdo the other while pushing the limits (both their own and of the PAX) beyond the norm.  *Note – there have been zero complaints filed with F3CH management about the intensity of workouts (with the exception of some post-workout mumblechatter by Champ a few weeks ago. Duly noted Champ).

Each of the original F3CH sites are the selected key 5 workouts this week.  Site Qs were given their assignments.  Make it hurt and hope for some merlot to prove it.  Shooter, Assisi, Subprime/Blindside, KJS/Walt & YHC started scratching out plans…and then Monday arrived.
The days unfolded as described below:

Monday: Fetzer (31 PAX).  Shooter’s Q at Kenan Stadium took the energetic PAX up and down, up and down, up and down….and up and down the stadium stairs while cranking out burpees (x5) at the top and merkins (x5) at the bottom.  Merciless.  The bar had been set high… very high.

Tuesday: Vortex (38 PAX).  Assisi has been known to induce Merlot spillage by more than one FNG since the inception of the Vortex. With a new record-setting 38 PAX emerging from the darkness, the barrage of 25/50/75 (burpees/merkins/BWS) followed by .5 mile run repeats managed to induce at least one PAX to spill.  Success Assisi!

Wednesday: Rameses (30 PAX).  The dreaded elevated-arm ‘bird-man’-type run up the hill at Rameses is never (never, ever) a good sign of what’s to come.  A Subprime/Blindside co-Q has also never been a good idea…but yet it continues to occur.  Their Jacob’s Ladder of burpees/squats up/down the BFH (aka THWM) broke the spirits (and broke them early) of the PAX. Extra rucks, cinder blocks, KBs and an appearance by twiggy (a utility pole in its former life) created even more carnage.  How the hell did we also do Thunderstruck merkins and Roxanne burpees?

Thursday: Orange County Line (38 PAX).  Pullups.  Uphill bear crawl + merkins every 10 yards followed immediately by downward facing bearcrawl + derkins every 10 yards.  Just glad I emerged with all of my teeth.  Box jumps, more derkins & a hellish traveling-burpee session through the parking lot was…just…brutal.

Friday: Bastille (52 PAX).  I knew we’d had good numbers.  At least 30 for sure.  Maybe we’ll crest 40.  I’d be surprised (but pumped!) if we hit 50.  Well with 52 PAX…pumped (and at the same time…exhausted from #HellWeek) was the feeling of the morning.  Any Q will know the feeling of the adrenaline kick when pushing the PAX beyond previous limits.  A combination of adrenaline, poor counting skills and visual distractions offered by Champ (lovely front-sided hair bun. Seriously dude, you rock it) and Wheezer (yo – Jazzercise was last night buddy) brought us quickly over 120 SSH.  Toss in some standard merkins (x40 IC) and BWS (x10 IC) and our warmup is over.

The Thang:
Buddy up (and do it fast). Size & weight were said to not matter (takes too much time to sort through 52 dudes), so grab the guy closest to you.  Partner carry to the Village Green, switch halfway.

It appeared that a local (and very talented street graffiti artist) had utilized his easy access to copious amounts of sidewalk chalk.  Written at the 4 corners of the central Southern Village green were some letters & numbers.  They were reported to have said the following:

  • Burpees (x10), (x20), (x30), (x40)
  • BWS (x10), (x20), (x30), (x40)
  • Merkins (x10), (x20), (x30), (x40)
  • Jump Tucks (x10), (x20), (x30), (x40)

After multiple checks of the watch by the PAX hoping to be saved by the bell (YHC included), all 52 PAX completed the circuit while some over-achievers (Assist & Ito) had time for an additional round of 20 reps of each exercise.

Good news!  Our return plans are announced. Head back to the start!
Bad news… find your buddy and throw him on your back.  The PAX ran/shuffled/stumbled the distance back for Mary.

A final round of SSH allowed for recognition of those 16 who had completed the #HellWeek Challenge.  A quick run of Peter-Parker-Peters (x20 IC) brought us to a close.

T-claps to all 52 PAX who posted today. Amazing work by the combined 190 who chose to post over the course of #HellWeek at F3 Chapel Hill.
Welcome FNG Varsity (aka The V).  Announcements included the exciting news about the safe arrival of Chachi’s 2.1 and the imminent delivery of Shank’s twins (2.1 & 2.2) and My Little Pony’s 2.1.

Always a honor.