Ed. Note: A bunch of us got together last Wednesday, April 24 at 0615 at Fred Fletcher Park in Raleigh.  It’s a men’s personal fitness group started by some guys in Charlotte.  They gave us the gift of a great idea.  It stuck.  We worked out.  It was fun.  You show up for the fitness, the fellowship keeps you coming back, and your faith grows.  In the process, you find yourself (or at least Maize) approaching Beef Cake status.  We finished working out.  So anyways, Au Pair merloted on the hood of his car.  Fazio became emotional and exclaimed “I’ve been there, man!”  That was awkward.    We also worked out yesterday.  Here’s what we did:

The Thang

Warm Up:  Jog back through the fields and whatnot; rally ’round the Yard Art, SSHs, Imperial Walkers, Fazio Circles, Run as fast as you can to the base of Hidden Valley Hill.

A Pack of Wild Grizzlies:

With your partner: bear crawl up Hidden Valley Hill, Sprint Across the Lacrosse/Ultimate Frisbee/Football/Softball Outfield/General Merriment Field; bear crawl up Hamburger Hill; at the tree line, Partner 1 carries Partner 2 from the tree line to the Shovel Flag (actual) (Ed. Note: Partner carry could be Bobby Petrinos or Fireman’s Carry; most did the latter); flapjack; back to the tree line; bear crawl down Hamburger Hill; sprint back across the field; bear crawl down Hidden Valley Hill; plank it out ’til the band of brothers returns. 

We did the above orchestrated nonsense 4 times. 

Tomato Fly By:

For the first time in recorded history, the pax flies by the yard art twice in the same workout.  Unbeknownst to YHC, as the pax emerged full bore from the woods, Lo! what’s before us but a bunch of Tomato Ninjas holding court on the basketball court doing some sort of fitness/contemplative gathering.  Lest anyone believe that tomatoes don’t notice the pax, several tomatos exclaimed “Boys!!!” or some other varietal.  Couldn’t blame them– a Quarter Hundred Pax in F3-logoed, sensible technical fabric that runs a size small, barreling through the woods is certainly remarkable. Before he could pitch a 70s themed mixer at P-Bob’s to his opposite number among the tomatoes, we voted down Au Pair’s nomination as Social Chair.  White Shoe’s motion to reconsider was tabled. 

Circle of Pain

A Fine Lady Named Mary: Dollys, AOCs, Rosalitas, WWIIs, Reverse Crunches, Russian Hammers

Pusharama: Finger Tip Mericans, Standard Mericans, Dry Docks

Plankarama: High Plank, Putins, Sarkozies, One Arm Up (alternating)

Last Waltz: Sprint back to base of Hidden Valley Hill & feed the bears one more time.  Stop at the top of hamburger hill and study circles with Mr. Chong. 

COT

  • Busy Day at the Park.   A lot of newsworthy items to report.  Most notably, King David and YHC came dangerously close to physically derailing the Au Pair/Bikram Freight Train Express during the partner carries. Au Pair’s cried “Hit ‘Em” to his trusty steed Bikram, and Au Pair found himself riding an unlassoed bronc’ directly into the ground.  All hands recovered.  The Commissioner’s Office is investigating. 
  • Bikram Knows Yoga. We’ve touched on the Tomato Fly By, but, also worth noting that Bikram, being our resident Yoga Specialist, undertook a factfinding mission and determined that the tomatoes weren’t doing yoga.  More questions than answers there.
  • Tomato Mirage? Also worth noting that discussions occured this morning at Heavy Metal as to whether the tomatoes actually existed.  They disappeared as fast as they appeared.  We will continue to monitor the matter. 
  • Operation Chong Li Party of One.  The weekly lunch on Fridays at Mellow Mushroom is now the Monthly Lunch on Fridays at Mellow Mushroom.  Change came at the request of the waitstaff who were constantly wigging out over an 8-top table occupied by everybody’s favorite International Shipping Logistics Specialist. 

That’s All.

0 Replies to “Grizzly Bears Passing the Tomato Patch to Starboard”

  • The best bear is neither the grizzly nor the polar nor the panda nor the koala nor the teddy. Rather, the best bear is the one that lives and breathes within you, the one that can pass a tomato patch without batting an eye, the one that eats other bears for lunch and asks for seconds, nay thirds, fourths and/or fifths. Aye, those are the best bears.

  • I didn’t skip the backblast, Chong. The backblast skipped me. Think about that for a while.

  • This type of literary masterpiece is the reason why you should never skip a backblast. You are depriving the world when you do, and that is immoral. Also, good workout – bears, beats, battlestar galactica…which bear is the best bear?

Leave a Reply