My, what a lot can change in a year. A year ago, I was sliding into post-third-child comfort with being out-of-shape, lacking a serious physical challenge to strive against, and missing out on the team camaraderie I thrived on as a younger man. Since I am a scientist (hence, Beaker), I wanted to carefully quantify and graphically represent some of what F3 has meant to me since I started in this insanity a year ago. Check out the graph:
Wait a second, I don’t have permission to post graphs?! Maybe I need to re-think this whole F3 thing. I mean, what kind of organization won’t allow one to post Powerpoint slideshows complete with research methods and statistical analyses of the benefits of F3? This is riveting stuff, and you’re all missing out. Or, I am just incompetent when it comes to uploading stuff to the interwebs…or Floppy Disk knows about my sordid history with the internets and photos…
For now, trust me, it was a thing of beauty. But the gist of it is this; Not only am I physically better than I have been at anytime in the past ten years or so, but I own four F3 shirts! How did I survive before without F3 shirts? Regardless, it’s been a good year, and I look forward to more and more completely stupid things in the future.
As to today, lucky number 13 PAX arrived for a second chance to go for Olympic glory, F3 style.
The Warm-up (Beaker’s Beginnings (TM)):
Jog the parking lot with some Karaokes thrown in for good measure, head over to the BB courts for:
10x GM
10x WMH
10x Windmills
15x SSH
Stretch out anything else you need to for:
The Thang (Beaker’s Beatdown (TM)):
Although no one would admit it, there was wistful talking among the PAX about the recently ended Olympics in Rio. Some sorely missed events included rhythmic gymnastics, synchronized diving into a green pool, and table tennis. Well, nothing we did today was rhythmic, but the PAX did have the opportunity to earn some metals, in the form of 20# and 10# dumbbells. Here’s how it went, partner up and be the first to complete an exercise to win the right to carry the 20#s in the next exercise. Second place would hoist the 10#s. First up was the fusion of the zoo-like proceedings in Rio with the upcoming tropical storms Everything in the Atlantic for a loading of the Ark. Gorillas, bunnies, crabs, and bears all safely made it inside. Someone one and had to carry weights over to the hill for 2-light sprints with 10x Burpees at each light on the way up and each on the way down. I don’t think the metalists were pleased with dumb-Burpee-bells. Again, someone won and took over the weights for a jog back down the hill to the point where TP and Callahan are usually turning in at ~40mph on two wheels. Thankfully, that didn’t happen today as Sky Blue is already out of commission and I would have been sad to lose an entire PAX.
The next event was the Ma Bell special. The exact question was, “Ma Bell, what is the best exercise to follow 40 Burpees?” To which he answered, “Uh, Merkins?” I am about 99.99% certain that his answer would have been same no matter what the actual question was, which is why I asked him, and not Katniss, or anyone else. “Hey Ma, what did you have for breakfast?” “Uh, Merkins.” “Hey Ma, what happened to Sky Blue?” “Uh, Merkins.” “Hey Ma, what’s the secret to life?” “Uh, Merkins.” See what I mean? And Merkins there were, AMRAP total count between the partners to see which team claimed glory. Glory being dumbbells, of course. Some team won, and had to carry the weights a light-pole length sprint and back with 10x stationary sprinters at each end. Very few PAX were claiming their victories at this point, but all the weights made their way back to the BB court to hold a people’s chair as long as possible (with arms/weights out) followed by a boat/banana/canoe/whatever hold as long as possible with arms/weights up.
We concluded the competition with four laps around the parking lot, with 10x star jumps, tuck jumps, rock star jumps, and lunge jumps at the end of each lap. This really sucked with the weight, really sucked. After that, it was time for
The Mary (Beaker’s Belly (TM)):
WWIIs until I wasn’t sure I could call another “up”, somewhere around 25
Hello Dolly (I thought of you Callahan, but you weren’t there)
LBCs
I asked Shut-in for a final exercise, but revoked the privilege when I realized we hadn’t done Peter Parker Peters (#SignatureMove, #ContinueHotSpotsRidiculousVariationOnMountainClimbersTheme).
COT (Beaker’s Benediction (TM))
Name-o-rama/count-o-rama: 13
Luke 5: the calling of disciples to be fishers of men, only happened after they had struggled mightily hauling empty nets. I’ve been there, am there most days, but in trying to be faithful and obedient I see the blessings I’ve been given, and am preparing myself for even greater blessings in the future.
Prayers for Uncle Mike-pulmonary fibrosis/surgery (Ma Bell), friend Cindy-cancer inoperable/untreatable (PBX), and praises for children seeking after the Lord (Shut-In).
As always, it was an honor today. Thanks for letting me lead you and let’s do it again some time, but without the weights.
