9 PAX arrived on time to the Whole Foods parking lot for our weekly journey of pain. Little did most of them know that I, with the help of scientists, had developed a new workout for their participating pleasure.
 
Through a rigorous scientific process and higher level mathematics F3-9000 was developed. The basic premise is to do 30 different exercises, each for 1 minute, at 10 different stations. The stations alternate between pavered and non-pavered. Where does F3-9000 get its name, you might ask. The PAX did, in fact ask, multiple times if my math was correct. I can assure you that the math works. First you take the mean age of the participants, add them together, divide by 9, multiply by Planck’s constant, adjust for the Coriolis effect and Bernoulli’s Principle. Take that number, multiply by zero then take 30 exercises multiplied by 30 minutes multiplied by 10 stations and you get 9000. Hence, F3-9000. Easy!
 
Because I was worried about time constraints, I fartsacked the warm-up and just had everyone run with one (or two) pavers up to the Duke East Campus quad. There we found a nice circular round-about and set up 10 cones (exactly equidistant).
 
The PAX were split into two groups. One group did paver exercises while the other group exercised without.  10 cones total, and we went around the circle 3 times in all.
 
1.  Freestyle Upper
                a.  Merkins
                b.  Carolina Dry Docks
                c.  Knee up Merkins
2.  Pavers
                a. Paver Jump Lunges
                b. Paver Air Squats
                c. Paver Burpees
3.  Freestyle Legs
                a. Side Shuffle Hop
                b. Mountain Climbers
                c. Low Jacks
4. Pavers
 a. Top Shelf
                b. Isometric-  Iron Cross (T)
                c.  Bench Presses
5.  Freestyle Abdomen
                a. LBCs
                b. Low Flutters
                c.  Russian Hammers
6.  Pavers
                a. Isometric-  Arms straight out
                b. Military Presses (overhead)
                c. Rows
7. Freestyle Plank
                a.  Bows and Toes
                b. Sarcosi  (Left side up)
                c. Putin (Right side up)
8. Pavers
                a.  Curls
                b. Triceps (one paver)
                c. Paver Windmills
9. Freestyle Combo
                a.  Merkin/Mountain climbers (10 then switch)
                b.  Burpee jacks
                c. Merkin jacks
10. Pavers
                a. Speed skater jumps
                b. Snowboarders
                c. Navy sit-ups 
 
Mary: Time was up, so I fartsacked Mary also.
 
COT: Mosey back to the grassy knoll near Whole Foods for a quick circle.
 
Moleskin:
Tclaps to Riggs and Doogie for pushing rounds so that they could make the workout today.
Remember, there is no modification allowed in F3-9000!
Windmill pavers and the Iron Cross are harder in reality than they seemed in my mind.
Good luck to TimBukTu whose wife should be delivering TimBukThree sometime this week.

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