Explaining a 3-man Weave

A crisp 43 degrees with a slight breeze greeted 21 PAX this morning. YHC had a concept in mind to keep the PAX warm and toasty. With basketball season on the horizon, it was time for a little 3-man weave.

WARM UP

Jog to the bank for SSHx20, Good Morningsx10, Merkinsx30, Sumo Squatsx15, and SFACx10 both forward and reverse. Count off (21) and get into groups of 3

THE THANG

Follow YHC to the pocket park and find your partners. YHC then explained the concept…Partner 1 on one end of the mall doing American Hammers AMRAP, Partner 2 on the other end in plank position, Partner 3 sprints from P1 to P2, does 10 Starjumps, then takes P2s place in a plank. P2 then sprints back to P1, does 10 Starjumps, and takes P1 spot doing Hammers. P1 then sprints back to P3, does 10 Starjumps, then take P1s spot in a plank. P1 sprints back to where he started. Thus completes one full cycle. We did this exact cycle 3 times, then switched exercises. Round two had us doing Dips on one end, ALRSU on the other, and Burpees for the guy running. Round 3 had us doing WWII sit ups on one end, Plank joacks on the other, and 10 Box Jumps for the guy running.

No one but my group and the one next to ours (led by Largemouth) got it right. Everyone else quit halfway through, not recognizing that we were supposed to do 3 cycles, not just 3 sprints. The explanation was perfect, the execution by the PAX was atrocious.

From there, we started making our way back to the Church, mixing in Sprints and a few Mary exercises along the way. Billy run once back at the lot, then circle up for:

MARY

LBCs x 30, and Side Oblique crunches x 10 in cadence on either side

COT

• Count-o-rama: 21 – 4 RESPECTs, 17 mehs
• Name-o-rama: Still 21 with one FNG – Welcome Bird’s Nest (from Beijing, went to school in Baltimore – the Ravens play in Baltimore, hence the Bird’s Nest name. I really liked the suggestion integrating a The Wire reference, but I couldn’t remember the name Omar. Curses)
• Announcements: Mini-Bull up in Durm this weekend. Thanksgiving Day Convergence at BO location, also Carrol Middle School and NCMA options available. Black Friday convergence at DZ starting at 7am. An announcement about an upcoming announcement coming from Riptide, which will ostensibly be made before Christmas, but no one really knows.
• Prayer Requests: Our country, it’s leaders, and the people who are thoroughly ticked and resorting to destructive means.

NMS

• Wow.
• I mean, I’m fairly certain that just about everyone in attendance this morning has at least some level of secondary education.
• I guessed most guys would know how to follow simple instructions.
• I figured listening comprehension would be well enough established that I wouldn’t need to repeat myself more than twice.
• Evidently, I tend to grossly overestimate the PAXs’ cognitive abilities.
• To be fair, it is early and no one wants to think at that hour. The PAX just wanna get swole and not think.
• The PAX don’t do the maths goodly.
• 3 times down and back. You’ll do each of the stationary exercises thrice, and you’ll do whatever the end-of-sprint exercise 6 times. That would be 3 full cycles.
• I gotta move on from this before I have a coronary.
• It wasn’t hard.
• Big shout out to my soul guide, Goose.
• When everyone else wants to jump on the youngin’ and say mean things and tear YHC down and gripe about YHCs age and call out YHC for being more handsome than everyone else, Goose steps in.
• Goose, in the midst of all the hatred flowing my direction, calmly encouraged “Don’t let it get to you, my man. Just do what you do. They can cry all they want. You just be the best You that you can be.”
• I mean, it got a little misty this morning at the pocket park, didn’t it?
• DIDN’T IT?!?!?!
• Yeah, it did.
• Goose sometimes gets a bad rap for being angry, but he’s always been in my corner, fightin’ the haters with me. That’s a good friend.
• The rest of y’all? Haterz.
• Chinese Downhill wore a vest.
• McCants doesn’t seem to understand the difference between a tank top and a vest.
• I get it, they’re similar. But definitely different.
• Man, planning an entire workout around the premise that you’ll have the number of PAX be a multiple of 3 is super-duper ballsy.
• Sometimes it better to be lucky than good.
• Speaking of ballsy, the sweat angels left by the PAX this AM were quite…
• At one point, Term Paper asked me what I would have done if we didn’t have a multiple of 3.
• I woulda feigned and injury and gone home.
• What injury could you fake and legitimately get out of a Q after you already showed up?
  • Kidney stones
  • A migraine
  • A slipped disk (suffered while stretching, perhaps? The older you are, the more believable it’ll be)
  • Testicular torsion
  • Brown and out
  • Swine flu
  • A yeast inf….nevermind
• The PAX not only didn’t listen, but they were super insubordinate this AM. I say dips, they do ALRSU. I say box jumps, they do ALRSU. I say ALRSU, they do dips.
• How do you control a herd of dopes?
• You can’t. Impossible.
• Largemouth explained to me that the more ears there are, the harder it is to get them all to listen/hear what you’re saying.
• We decided there was a direct correlation to the number of ears present to the number of mouths. The more mouths, the harder it is for the PAX to use their brains, evidently.
• And Burt wasn’t even there.
• Anyway, Thanks for the opportunity to lead you knuckleheads.
• I rip on all of you because I love each and every one of you.
• Please don’t take anything I said above seriously.
• After this morning, I’m sure none of you are listening anyway.
• See you in the gloom

Callahan