A solid Circa 13 crew of Pax plus one psychedelic constellation in the darkness for another edition of Heavy Metal, where the men lift weights and the rest save face.  Or seek treatment for VFS. Ed. Note:  This back blast goes down the rabbit hole.  Buckle up.

The Thang:

Circle of equipment, 12 yards in diameter:

Sears Bar-Burpee Cleans

Au Pair Blow Up Weights – Lateral Rows

Sled Push (Timekeeper)

Cinderella EZ Curl Bar Alt L/R Lunges

Cinderella Straight Bar Sumo Cleans and Press

Oly Bar and Plates Dead Lift

Medicine Ball No 1. Mericans on the Ball

Medicine Ball No. 2. Mericans on the Ball

Au Pair Adjustables — Curl and Press

Pax No. 1 Does Equipment Exercise Max Reps.  Pax No. 2 Does Bruce Jenner Basics (Mericans, Squats, Woeful Plastic Surgery…wait just the first two).  Meanwhile back at the sled push, Partner 1 calls switch when he returns.  Partner 2 calls rotate when he returns.  No walkie.  No joggie.  There is only Burpee Broad Jump to travel between stations.

Mary Medley


  • A lot to report today.  Munson is a beast.  His double post at Ball Bearings and Heavy Metals means he’s off the PUP list and the November 5K “Strikes of Fury” fundraiser is CANCELLED.  Let it be noted.
  • YHC made an early observation about the magnificence of the constellation Orion the Hunter in the winter sky, early in the morning in the Delaware country side.  This immediately devolved into a press conference about how much psychedelic contraband had been consumed. Answer: None.  How I’d ruined the joys of basic astronomy for Fungo.  And what it would look like if Orion played Bobby McFerrin classics on the xylophone wearing a casio watch (the cheap staple kind from childhood that you could get next to the MacGregor white universal cleats).
  • Minor controversy broke out that Box Jump expertly navigated like he was managing the lunch line on a particularly contentious week or two at Camp David on or about September 15, 1978.  At one point, Box said “I believe in Democracy.”  So do we all brother. Apparently, recent FNG Turtle carried that nickname as a private citizen because his hospital surname is “Turlington”.  So, not knowing anyone at Late Night last week, some creative pax assigned him the name “Turtle,” not aware that that is his nickname forever in real life.  Box Jump raised concerns at and even before COT.  The pax was consulted and we determined judiciously that the Heavy Metal COT could make this right using the Rule 5 Naming Draft protocol hammered out by Fungo in the most recent F3 collective bargaining agreement.  Representatives of the Late Night Regulars (Box and Honey Doo) were present and did not object.  Somewhere Wendell Gee benignly complained but ultimately acquiesced.   If you’re still reading, this is where it gets weird.  We re-defined nonlinear this morning:

Turlington — Turtle –Moved to White Oak Road — The High Side of Town — Beverly Hillbillies — Jed Clampett — Granny — Don Drysdale? — Beverly Hills 902010 — Jason Priestley — Brandon — Brenda — Jenni Garth — “Peach Pit…”  And there you have it.

  • Fresh off of solving world peace, or at least fixing Peach Pit’s problem.  We turned to naming Fungo’s buddy an FNG Who attended Notre Dame.  But not the college.  The high school.  See, for Dawn Patrol readers, English is not the only language.  There are others.  Including the language of ancient Rome.  We remained non-linear but less so than as above:

Notre Dame–South Bend–Golden Dome–Brady Quinn–Rudy–Dan Ruettiger–Jon Favreau–Vince Vaughn–USC–“The Juice…”

  • In celebration of the good time this morning, I’ve written a Haiku.

Heavy Metal Asks

Only For Your Best Effort

Dawn Patrol Does Not


0 Replies to “Box Jump is the Jimmy Carter of Our Time”

  • I think we’re also forgetting that there was also a discussion on if, in fact, it was possible that there was a phonetic error in MH’s F3 naming. As such, could it be possible that his real name is “Money Hoes” instead of the one we have come to use to this day?

  • Epoxy’s lack of understanding my earlier BB Post is similar to Au Pair months ago not knowing what Torgue vs. Horsepower difference is. I seem to recall they both attended the school that I hear has been in the news a lot lately.

  • Rumors are swirling about Ricki’s return in the near future, maybe even as early as next week. I, unfortunately, won’t be able to make next week so let me know if he shows.

  • Nothin’ but love, Money Hose! Be back soon. Epoxy said Ricki called him via bag phone to thank him for the recent Western Union transaction. May be funding his annual return trip to the State Fair. Paging Epoxy for verification.

  • Rogers, Epoxy. I think you guys are being unduly sensitive about this issue. Your brothers at Heavy Metal miss you. Ricki won’t show up without you. He won’t even return my pages. And YHC did not “call out”. Nay, I simply asked if “this was a thing…” Friar Tuck teaches acceptance. And I am willing to accept the loss, if it is true. But there is hope. There’s always hope.

  • Epoxy & Rogers load/unload gear from chez MH crawlspace with no MH in sight 3 straight Thursdays. Q his home workout 2 of those 3 weeks. MH calls us out for no show. Proper.

  • Reading this backblast, I’m afraid HM might be getting too intellectual for me….I can hardly keep it. After all, I’m just a simple boy from Fayetteville “educated” largely by “No-Show” / Paper Classes at the college down the road.

    And can someone please interpret what the hell Orwell is talking about?

  • F3 Rule 5.A.i-623.a9 states use of the Back Blast Quality Scale, and allows for the grading to be name references vs. numbers. In using the existing number scale of 1-5 with 5 being the top that will rarely ever be attained; I propose we change to names replacing numbers with 1 being Ron Burgundy and 5 being Money Hose. Would appreciate help in assigning names to numbers 2-4

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