Where to begin? The second to last Pullen Saturday workout, and I get the honor of leading it? After nearly four years of solid beatdowns at this legendary spot, I knew I had to conjure a respectable workout. No sissy stuff, just hard work.

A PAX of 8 gathered at the front of the park (one was a little late, but we’ll let it slide). The watch struck 8 o’clock…wait…it’s only 7am. Ah, forgot to “fall back”. At this point, we’re close enough to “spring forward” that it wouldn’t make sense to back it up now. Whatevs. On with it:

WARM UP:

Jog to the stone circle:

  • SSH x 20
  • Willie Mays x 20
  • Good Morning x 10
  • Windmill x 10
  • Climbers x 20

THE THANG:

Jog over to the stairs by the carousel and partner up for a Dora 1-2-3. As a pair, complete 100 Merkins, 200 Big Boy sit-ups, 300 squats. One partner starts exercises while other runs the stairs. When the stair-runner is back down, switch and continue. My partner (the Dome) got a little carried away and led the PAX on a goose chase. The direction was to go to the top of the stairs and back. Ollie tried to take everyone to Wake Forest. We got things back on track after a few minutes. Needless to say, Ollie and I finished last…

Next, boogie over to Goose poop Island. YHC explained the circuit.

  • 5 pull-up squats OYO (do a pull-up, drop down and do a squat. That’s one rep)
  • Run over the bridge, and do Patty Cake Merkins with your partner x 15
  • Run to the steps a few yards away, Flutter Kicks x 30
  • Back to the Island
  • 5 pull-up Squats OYO
  • Cross bridge, 10 Partner Dirkins (each)
  • Run to steps, 30 Box Cutters
  • Back to Island
  • 5 pull-up Squats OYO
  • Cross bridge, With partner’s feet on your back, 10 Merkins. Flapjack. These were hard.
  • Run to steps, 30 Freddy Mercury’s

From there, run up the steps and Lunge Walk across the bridge to nowhere. Run up the hill to the rock pile. Grab a substantial rock, then head to the tennis courts. Split into groups, 1s and 2s.

  • 1s – Suicides (halfway, back, all the way, back); 2s – Rock Curls. Flapjack.
  • 1s – Suicides (backwards run out, regular run back); 2s – Triceps Extensions. Flapjack.
  • 1s – Suicides (Carioca); 2s – Rock Press. Flapjack.
  • 1s – Run the full court and back; 2s – BTTW. Flapjack.
  • 1s – Run full court; 2s – BTTW. Flapjack.
  • As a group, Rock Press x 20, Rock Row x 30.
  • Bring rocks back to their home

Run back to the amphitheater for:

MARY

YHC had a special plan for Mary, but due to lack of oxygen to the brain, the plan went to hell in a handbasket. So instead, we did a bunch of disjointed garbage that sucked anyway:

  • YHC called an angle, the PAX each did a 5-count. 90 deg, 60 deg, 30 deg, 6” leg hold, 45 deg, Recover!
  • Up-Downs. PAX took turns yelling “down!”. Twas good fun.
  • Knerkins x 20 (huh? Isn’t this Mary?) Shhh….
  • Imperial Squat Walker x 20 (again…what?)
  • Hello Dolly x forever (sup.)

COT

  • Count-o-rama: 8, still.
  • Nam-o-rama: 2 RESPECT, 1 hate, 5 mehs.
  • Announcements: Phoenix Rises March 19 at Bond Park in Cary. The locals are ready and restless. Should be a wild ride. The Mule (3/5), The Bull (3/12), YHC is going to attempt both. Will see how the knees feel after the Mule. April 30 Mudrun sign-ups ongoing. Shout out if you’re interested.
  • Prayer Request: Nothing spoken aloud, so we prayed for all of it! YHC took us out.

NMS

  • BIG SHOUT to Term Paper…Mad RESPECT for completing a 6-pack this week. He wore his F3 RESPECT shirt Saturday, and it was perfect.
  • Ollie joked that I ought to get one of those respect shirts and wear it every day once I turn 30.
  • But seriously, who is going to step up and design a “Meh…” shirt? Any takers?
  • I guess the “Hate” shirt would just be a picture of a gazelle chewing on the carcass of a lion. Send it to the presses.
  • It was good to see some familiar faces this AM. I haven’t seen Lipton, T-Square, or Munson in a while. I’ll have to make it a point to hit up other Raleigh AO’s once Pullen rides off into the sunset.
  • Yes, I understand the Forge meets at Pullen as well. And that’s a good thing. If I ever get overly offended by Team FOD, I’ll shun them and turn to the Forge as a rebound.
  • Whaddup Forge? Whatchu doing later?
  • Gotta. Keep. Options. Open.
  • I’m really not as dumb as I sound, guys. I promise. Guys?
  • I still don’t understand what Ollie was thinking. The instruction was, “run to the top of the steps and back”. For whatever reason, Ollie thought I mentioned the pavilion. That word never came out of my mouth. Munson backed me up.
  • The Mary was supposed to be a routine that, if you took the first letter of each exercise, it would spell out something degrading toward Indiana University. The reason being the rivalry game between IU and Purdue was Saturday night. Purdue got JOBBED by the refs because they don’t understand a rule book evidently.
  • Long story medium, Indiana was up two with time winding down. Kevin “Not Yogi” Ferrell drove to the hoop for a layup, which was subsequently swatted by All-American AJ Hammons and bounced to a Purdue guard, who would have called a timeout to set up a last second shot (and game-winner, no doubt). INSTEAD, TV Teddy Valentine anticipated the goal tend and blew his whistle, even though IT WAS THE CLEANEST BLOCK I HAVE SEEN IN MY TWENTY NINE YEARS ON THIS EARTH!!!!!! Replay shows Hammons bumped the rim on the way up to block the ball, but the ball never got close to touching the rim or the backboard, and it absolutely was still on an upward trajectory. After pouring through the NCAA MBB rulebook, there is absolutely no FREAKING WAY that should have been called a goal tend. But once that whistle was blown, the odds of TV Teddy changing the call…HIS call…was about as likely as a purple alligator getting married to Hillary Clinton, having a baby, and naming it Tom Crean.
  • Although, you might be able to convince me that Tom Crean was raised by alligators. Dude is an absolute moron.
  • Like, no kidding, if I ran into Tom Crean at an airport, I wouldn’t think twice about kneeing him in the nuts as hard as I could.
  • Signed, Embittered Boilermaker Fan.

It was a pleasure to find F3 alomst two years ago, and even better to lead the penultimate workout at the Granddaddy of F3 Raleigh. Aye!

Callahan

BOILER UP!!

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