Late Thursday night:
The Pax: “I’m tired of doing bear crawls all the time! Maybe I’ll go to the Wolf Run tomorrow. T-Square hates bear crawls.”
T-Square: “The Pax hate doing bear crawls. Maybe I’ll make them do bear crawls tomorrow. As long as White Shoe doesn’t show this will be perfect.”
Early Friday Morning:
Twelve unsuspecting, bear crawl hating beings showed up at 6am for a “run”. To keep up appearances, we did start running in our normal, aimless way. We first came upon an aptly placed concrete curb. Upon said curb we proceeded with 20 calf raises, 20 quick feet and 20 windmills (not on the curb). Then we repeated. After determining which way the wind was blowing, we started out again with the wind on our backs. We sauntered about for a while until we miraculously arrived at the greenway head. I did not know the F3 comity on pre-qualified exercises had established a height restriction on alternating right left step ups. Apparently they have and I was duly informed by the vigilant Pax. I received a one-time variance and we commenced with 15, then 20 dips, then repeat. It was time. Time to inform everyone that all tunnels, yes real tunnels, were rigged with explosives (thanks to our resident terrorist Abu Nazeer) and we would have to bear crawl through to not be decapitated. Fazio was giddy at the mention of real tunnels. We started off. A mere tenth of a mile later we approached the first tunnel. We made it through. No one defected and no one died. The next two tunnels were a cake walk and we were through.
Next apply icing to cake:
Start with one part paved hill
Mix with Burpees
Shake thoroughly
In other words, Jacobs Ladder up to five burpees at the top. Two groups with standby team doing squats at base camp.
There were more tunnels to conquer but no time. We ran it back to the cars to defuse the rest of the tunnels another day.
Repo and Door to Door opted for the more intimate Wolf Run experience and did their own thang. They were able to join us in the end for a solid 14.
Over and Out
