Strange things afoot at this morning’s granddaddy of week day workouts.

YHC and Sir Nigel Fazio arrived at 0606 to the random calls of “Helloooo!” repeatedly coming from the Bishop Park townhomes.  Moments later, the Blitz crew arrives.  Villa and Utah, who regularly opt out of Ball Bearings, proceed to investigate.  Conversation ensues.  Somehow, next we know two unnamed individuals in black ill fitting shirts made of technical fabric uhhh relieving themselves?  Unclear if that was a mirage.  That was the allegation at least but cannot confirm and don’t want to disparage.  Situation well in hand and off goes 7 Truely Elite…

The Thang:

Modified burpee mile-ish–on the trot to Stone Circle; 10 burpees; on the trot to top of amphitheater; 10 burpees; on the trot to corner near where King David’s bad influence friends smoked cigs in high school; 10 burpees; spider climb two railings with 10 crazy mericans baked into the nougat.

Arrive at base of flag pole for freshly cut grass.  Circle up.  3 Sets of 15 mericans; 3 Sets 20 Super mans; lunge walk to Peace Street down the bucolic walk; run to Edna Wells Park (more on that in a minute).

Arrive Edna Wells Park.  10 burpees.  find a bench of picnic table; combo of incline mericans; decline mericans; dips; air squats.

Return stone wall on west face of Broughton High School.  More incline mericans; more dips; alternating left/right step ups; jog to bucolic path; lunge walk back to Flag Base.  10 mericans; jog back to railings for more spider climbs; jog back to railings for more spider climbs and crazy mericans;

Return to Pavillion by way of Stone Circle; incline mericans; dips; pull ups; 2 Times up dog leg with five burpees at stone circle and five burpees at Lamp (not Lamp…the lamp).

30 russian hammers on table top in pavillion; jog back to launch point.

COT–finish at 7:00:32.  Done and done.  On time.


The estate of a dearly departed fruit bat may have wrongful death claim against King David.  And the next second F event may be a solidarity appearance at the proceeding of State v. David.  Charge: bat battery.  A little lawyer humor for the crowd.  Which, Cut me Mick and apparently some lawyer publication that few, if any, read, tells me is positive. For lawyers well being.

Chong, apparently not fringe enough, wants no service at the Burger King.  No shirt.  No shoes.  No service.  He had none of the three.  Somewhere Au Pair woke up out of the fart sack and cried foul.

Our man Marley has quietly morphed into a fitness beast.  And he’s done it without all the drugs and confusing mysticism of Chong Li.  So that’s good.

Thoughts and prayers for the Fork girls as they undergo a battery of shots stemming from the late bat.  Shots are not fun.  For anyone.  Except for hipsters, but those are entirely different shots.

It’s an honor to lead.  Make no mistake.

That is all.



0 Replies to “Villa and Utah Modern Day Magnum and T.C.”

  • The Marley morph is truly a wonder. The guy could go shirt-and-shoeless himself, but has no need. #BKdinein

    There can be no doubt that an invisible shorts Q looms. The Panda in his natural pelt. But interestingly, still wearing fingerless gloves. PAX be warned.

  • I don’t think there is any real controversy as to whether Edna Metz Wells qualifies as a true park. The real question for the F3 archivist is whether this was in fact the first Raleigh parkland double. Methinks the Fallon-Kiwanis circuit has been completed more than once at Late Night. Regardless, it does not take away from what was a damn good workout, conceived and delivered by Money Hose.

  • Easy Sir Fazio. Don’t be throwing a Roger Maris on my history-making Q. Park’s a park if it has a sign and is maintained by the Raleigh Parks & Recreation Department. No other rational limiting principle. This sort of “eye of the beholder” standard is what sent Epoxy and Nard Dogg sideways and caused the greatest scandal in F3 Raleigh history.

  • Do believe the resident mystic made mention of that very idea this morning. Great disappointment that you were not present for the ensuing discussion. #Enlightening

    As usual, our man Hose has done a remarkable job at recounting the morning’s escapades in only the way he can, yet he failed to highlight his sheer and utter elation at (allegedly) being the first Q to visit not 1 but 2 of Oak City’s parks during a standard 45-minute weekday workout. Elias Sports Bureau is in the process of verifying the claim as I type. Even if verified, there is still much dispute as to what qualifies as a “park”. With all due respect to Ms. Wells, whom I’m sure is/was a lovely lady and well deserving of the honor, to proclaim a 1/10 acre patch of grass with but one bench and one picnic table a park seems a bit of a stretch. Judge for yourself:

  • Not fartsacking. Ethanol. Earlier workouts a priority these (Wednes)days, unfortunately. Glad to know Chong doesn’t save his inappropriate attire just for me. I’m quitting F3 if he suggests invisible pants are on the horizon.

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