Twain summed up the art of short, concise communication pretty well when he said “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one.” A lot happened on July 30th and YHC will do my best to communicate the spirit of The Sasquatch in the shortest possible manner, but it’s a difficult task considering the depth of the story.  The easiest way I can explain what happened is through the imagery of The Magnet, The Glue, and The Dynamite, all of which were occurring in beautiful harmony.  82 Men of the F3 Nation came together to push ourselves physically, form closer bonds with other high impact men, and to give to a leader (Papa Smurf) that has inspired us in so many different ways.  Smurf’s recent diagnosis has had a deep impact on us all, as evidenced by the united support the F3 Nation has given us, but the message on this day was not one of despair or gloom.  Instead, the message was one of hope, determination, appreciating the journey and the gifts we are given, as well as loving and inspiring those around us to be better along the way.  What we witnessed on this day is the reason why we wake up at 4:45 in the morning.  It’s why we workout in the rain, the cold, and the snow.  It’s why we participate in F3 service, whether it be through Qing a workout, participating in a community activity, reaching out to PAX that may need some accountability,  or leading a 2nd or 3rd F gathering.  There is this positive energy that I think we all feel.  We may not know what to call it, or exactly what it is, but we all know it’s good, it’s authentic, and it’s pure.

The Welcoming

YHC arrived at the commons at 530 and the activities were already in full drive as our support team was loading coolers and laying out their final plans for the one of the best CSAUP presentations to date (I may be bias but them’s the brakes).  We planted a flag, blasted some rock and roll, and waited patiently for the arrival of the PAX.  A very impressive bus that departed from Boyd Lee at 530 (donated by People’s Baptist church for the event) arrived with a large group of PAX and cars began to fill the parking lot.  A flurry of men, shovel flags, and friendly greetings quickly filled the silence of gloom. The ceremonial precession went something like this:

  • Thanks to the PAX, our amazing support team, traveling PAX, Chong Li and Raleigh Expansion for giving us support during our early days, and OBT and Crotch Rocket for their efforts and vision in growing F3 to giving away what was given to them.
  • Three Main Reasons we are here:  1) Fun, 2) The Magical Glue of the CSAUP, and 3) Support a Brother in Need (Papa Smurf).
  • Anecdotal story about Optimus Prime to lighten the Mood and put a big ole smile on Smurf’s face.
  • Name O Rama and Counterama.
  • An inspiring and well constructed Prayer and Ball of Man led by Splinter.

The Thang

Commons (Q: T-Bone)

Warm up: 20 SSH IC 15 Slow Merkins IC 10 high knees IC 10 butt kickers IC

As a point of reference, YHC hand selected our group of Qs because of their appreciation of the Tom Sawyer principle.  After hearing a preview of their plans, I immediately regretted my decision (Kidding of course), because what would ensue would be a machine gun of pain.  T-Bone, being the tone setter he is, started us off with 11s (Burpees and Agitators).  Apparently, in T-Bone’s Q Dictionary, 1 rep of Agitators is actually 2 180 degree Jump Squats.  Mumble Chatter was quickly silenced by the sound of men sucking air.  Once the 10 minute time limit hit, T-Bone cued the next leg and the PAX headed to Elm Street.

A familiar “Motivated” chant was led by Hoff, our 2016 Sasquatch Shortest Shorts winner and the chant was echoed through the String of Pearls.

Elm Street

As the PAX began to arrive to the Elm Street Tennis Courts, Balls to the Wall and various Plank configurations ensued.  Our boys from Carterico, stepped up and took ad-hoc Q at this point, speaking in very distinct Carteret County dialect that can only be learned spending hours in the sun, local dive bars, and battling hoards of beach going tourists.  These guys have the potential to be one the most fun regions in the nation, filled with lots of jabs, nonsensical additions to the lexicon, and great energy.

Once the Six rolled in, Gazelle continued the demolishment of our legs with: Wimpy Legs 3 rounds- 10x jump squats, 10x jump lunges, and 10x mule kicks.  Next, the biggest Guantanamo circle I have ever seen  broke out.  Great side burns and patriotic shorts, my friend.

The PAX departed Elm Street for a hot, short run to the Stadium

The Stadium

The PAX partook in the water and Gatorade supplied by our support team and gathered to see what was next.  Hokie, being the red headed bringer of pain, supplied the PAX with 10 minutes of heart pounding work they traveled so far to get.

Broad Jump Burpees across the lawn – OYO, But Kis for the six, Plank Jacks IC, Jump Squats across the lawn – OYO, But Kis for the six, Mountain Climbers IC, Walk Out Merkins across the lawn – OYO, But Kis for the six, Bear crawl back and forth across the lawn, Smurf Jacks IC

Next was the dreaded 4.5 mile leg.  Fortunately, our support group came through strong.  Hozer, a firefighter, blocked traffic.  The corn boys were cruising in a Truck and on bike up and down the string of pearls making sure everyone was ok.  Charlie Brown and Kingpin made several appearances along the way to cheer us along. Shrimp and his chariot kept the six safe.  Sparks, with his signature thumbs up and friendly smile, provided encouragement and ambulatory services.  Cold Cut and Hurricane leapfrogged along the route to make sure the PAX stayed cool and hydrated.  If I missed any one, I apologize, I was in survival mode at this point.


As the six pulled into Paramore, hoards of men gathered to cheer them on and make sure no man was left behind.  We started the race portion of our event with 5 rounds of Cindy and a staggered start to sprint towards Boyd Lee.  The first would win the coveted Sasquatch Trophy.  Our top 5 in this order were, Pepe, Misty, String Bean, Gazelle, and Hazmat.  Last year, YHC enjoyed the experience of following close behind Gazelle but this year was a far different story as I struggled through debilitating muscle cramps with Mr. Belding and Arsenio.  We pulled each other through, learning much more at the six, then we ever could have at the front.  As we approached Boyd Lee, I told Belding I was going to have to walk it in because my toes were curled under my foot and every time I broke into stride, my legs locked with cramping pain.  That Bad Ass 55 year old man looked at me like I just said something bad about his mother and told me I was going to run it in.  I obviously followed his directions and we pulled each other through.  Arsenio followed close behind with flag in hand for a glorious conclusion to a great race.

Boyd Lee 

Bono had the Q for 10 minutes of Mary.  The PAX gathered for the last bit of torture and he delivered his “Hard Core” signature Mary.

Sir Walter Raleigh Scuba Buddha courtesy of F3 Raleigh Mary – F3 Pepe, J-Los Legs stay up til Q calls it: – Slinky IC – Rosilitas IC – Freddy Mercurys – Dolly’s IC.  Echoes of “Halt” were heard at each rep towards the end of the Mary session, as an effort to end this torture, but Bono wasn’t having it.

Closing, Coffeteria, and Moleskin

It’s difficult to convey the closing remarks by OBT, Papa Smurf, and Bono as well as the presentation of a beautiful Blackbeard Shovel Flag to Papa Smurf by the Carterico boys and I can’t really do it justice in words.  Some of my take aways were:  1) F3 positively impacts men’s lives and it’s our responsibility to continue to give it away, 2) F3 grows strong leaders and strong bonds between high impact men, 3) Supporting and inspiring our fellow man is of absolute importance, 4) have gratitude for the gifts we are given and lead with humility, and 5) although there may be things in life that are impossible to overcome as one, we can persevere as many working in concert.

We were very grateful to hear from OBT that ENC is now an independent region.  As an insider, I’ll tell you that they way we got to this point is that we had strong leaders and the PAX has acted as if we were an independent region from day one.  This is known as the “fake it till you make it” Principle.

T-Bone, Steamy, Pepperoni, Sarge, Pac Man, and Splinter served us up a great breakfast with some excellent fellowshipping.  Thanks again to our support team and all of the M’s and 2.0s that came to cheer us on at the end and help with pictures, food, and clean up.

We raised over $3,000 for Papa Smurf and his family.  Thanks to everyone in the F3 Nation for your support!