Thanksgiving at Max Bandwidth

I picked a few Thanksgiving themes for this morning’s workout–Black Friday, Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, Mall Santa, and Genetically Engineered Turkey.  Following the workout, we offered our annual climb of Mt. Trashmore to those willing to stick around.  Special thanks to B&E, Floppy Disk, and VHS for each leading a group of men from station to station.

Warm Up

-Side Straddle Hops (20)

-Good Mornings (10)

-Helicopters (10)

-Sir Fazio Arm Circles (10 forward and 10 reverse)

-Cotton Pickers (10)

-“The Grinder” Stretch (10 seconds each leg)

The Thang

We count off by 4 and the #1s go with Floppy Disk, the #2s go with B&E, the #3s go with VHS, and the #4s go with YHC Spit Valve.  Each station should take about 12 minutes.  We will use the “parade” taking place in Station 2 as our timing device.  When they arrive at Station 3, a whistle will be blown indicating it’s time to rotate.

1 – BLACK FRIDAY (chariot races on the access road)

Abraham Lincoln declared that Thanksgiving would be the final Thursday in November starting in 1863.  It remained that way until 1939.  That November had 5 Thursdays (like 2018), and FDR moved Thanksgiving up to the 4th Thursday to give merchants more time to sell during the Great Depression.  Back then, it was considered unacceptable to advertise for Christmas until after Thanksgiving.

Republicans hated this, and called FDR’s 4th Thursday “Democratic Thanksgiving” and the 5th and final Thursday “Republican Thanksgiving”.  Fortunately, such divisiveness doesn’t exist anymore and we all get along perfectly!

In 1942, the 4th Thursday (whether it’s the last Thursday of the month or not) was made the official day of Thanksgiving.

Exercise:

-Partner up and each pair gets an inner tube

-Partner 1 makes a Black Friday dash up the hill to the first light pole, towing Partner 2

-Switch places and partner 2 tows Partner 1 down the hill to the starting spot

-Repeat up and back to the 2nd light pole and again to and from the 3rd light pole

-Switch spots so now Partner 2 is going uphill and Partner 1 is going downhill and repeat to light pole 1, 2, and 3

(If there are not enough tubes or if there are an uneven number of PAX: Black Friday is the busiest day of the year for plumbers—cleaning up after all the visitors have “stressed” the plumbing.  Do some plumber’s crack exercises—good mornings, squats, and monkey humpers, while you wait for a tube to become available.  (Do a dash, do some plumbing, do the next dash, plumbing, etc.)

If there’s still time, statistics say that 12% of shoppers out and about on Black Friday are drunk.

Start at the bottom of the hill where the diagonal white lines start.  Trace the lines up and back, doing a merkin at each change in direction.

When you hear the whistle, move to Station 2 – Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (start at the same place as Station 1).

2 – MACY’S THANKGIVING DAY PARADE (1.5 laps around the campus)

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is the world’s largest parade.  It began in 1924 and is the US’s second oldest (Philly’s started in 1920).  It is now watched by over 44 million people on TV, and is roughly a 6 mile route.

Exercise:  Instead of 6 miles, you will run just over 1 mile (basically 1.5 laps around campus with a stop at the SuckBricks).

Indian Run up the access road to Durant road and run a full lap around the campus (no shortcuts), stopping at the SuckBricks.

At the SuckBricks, pay tribute to the original Macy’s on 34th Street by doing 34 reps.

-10 derkins

-10 box jumps

-14 dips

Continue the Indian Run back to where you started and keep on going all the way around to the playground (Station 3 – Mall Santa)

3 – MALL SANTA (wall and playground exercises)

Taking the kids to see Santa is not exactly a joy.  So we’ll do some agony while we wait for Santa.

-Partner up

-One partner does Santa’s Lap (People’s Chair) while the other partner goes into the playground and does (in any order)

-5 pull-ups

-10 Merkins

-15 WWII (WWII uses bent leg) – the Macy’s Parade was suspended from 1942-1944 for WWII

-4 burpees

Swap with your partner who’s been doing Santa’s Lap.

Continue back and forth until the next parade arrives.

Once they arrive, blow the whistle loudly so the other crews can hear you, and mosey to Station 4 – Genetically Modified Turkey (SuckBlocks)

4 – GENETICALLY MODIFIED TURKEY (SuckBlock work)

Turkeys are engineered nowadays for show—sometimes with such large chests that they can barely walk.  We’ll pump some coupons for show…and make it so we can barely walk.

45 million turkeys are eaten each year for Thanksgiving

-Colt 45s (15 low curls, 15 high curls, 15 full motion curls)

-20 overhead presses

-20 blockheads (lay on back, 6-inch leg hold for extra credit, block lowered to ground above your head, bring vertical without bending elbows)

-20 bent over rows (focus on bringing shoulder blades together)

-20 triceps extensions

-20 goblet squats

-50 calf raises (holding onto the fence if needed)

Repeat until you hear the whistle.

Mosey to Station 1 – Black Friday (the access road over to the far left of campus)

Circle back up for COT.

COT:

Messages of Thanksgiving:

In all things give thanks.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him: bless his name!

Psalm 100:4

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the happiest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

-John F. Kennedy

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others

-Cicero

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things.  They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.  It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People.  I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea, and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.

-Abraham Lincoln, October 3rd, 1863

After a good dinner, one can forgive anyone, even one’s own relatives.

-Oscar Wilde

Count-a-rama:  32

Announcements:

-Boiler Room (Heritage High School) will run from 0700-0800 on Black Friday

Following COT, 18 PAX climbed Mt. Trashmore.  The view was incredible on this glorious Thanksgiving morning.

I am thankful for all of you.  It was an honor to lead you this morning.


QIC: Spit Valve
Workout Date: 11/22/18
The PAX: 32 Strong HIMs

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