Today, we’re all cowboys

Monday was slow for YHC, so there was plenty of time to plan out the next morning’s Q. YHC checked the twitter machine and saw that Michelob had put a hurtin’ on the PAX the day before. Good! The goal for Tuesday at Field of Dreams was to keep that momentum going. YHC cooked up a devious plan (using ideas from other BB’s) and was good and ready to shell out one heck of a beatdown!

It’s never good when, as the Q, you’re completely gassed after 15 minutes.

20 PAX took off into the gloom post-haste to see what was in store.

WARM UP

Jog a lap around the parking lot and end up in the neighboring lot adjacent to the greatest turf fields Cary has to offer. Circle up for Good Mornings, Imperial Walkers, SSH, Mountain Climbers, Merkins, and Squats. Find a partner, size matters.

THE THANG

Jog over to aforementioned turf field for:

• Partner Carry the entire length of the field, jog back, and flap jack. People’s Chair when done
• Wheel Barrow to midfield, jog back, and flap jack. BTTW when done.
• Partner Carry the entire length of the field, jog back, and flap jack. People’s Chair when done

At this point, YHC was sucking wind like a shop-vac. After consulting the Weinke (yes, I absolutely planned this), the decision was made to jump to the Mary Interlude, then get back to more suckiness in a minute.

Mary Interlude:

• LBCs, in cadence x 50
• Side Oblique Crunches, in cadence, each side x10
• Homer to Marge x …I don’t know, maybe 20? ish? The PAX were being ornery and were too busy with mumble chatter to bother counting. YHC had a cure for that.

Back to the end line for Bear Crawl Burpees. When I say go, everyone begins a burpee, but stops after the pushup in plank position. Then start Bear Crawling. When YHC yells “Grizzly”, the PAX then do the standing/jumping portion of the Burpee, then continue to the beginning of the next burpee up to the plank portion, then Bear Crawl again. We did this to midfield, tho some PAX got ahead. Good on ya. Probably about 10 burpees total, plus 50 yards of Bear Crawls. That was decently fun.

Next, head to the outside of the field and line up along the fence opposite the shelter. One partner does 10 pull ups while the other partner BTTW. Flapjack. Then 8 pull ups, then 6, etc. YHC called an audible after the 8 Pull ups set to People’s Chair. The arms were a little too shaky.

Back to the field. At the end line, one partner starts to lunge walk, the other partner runs to the other end of the field, then back to the partner to switch places. Continue until you reach the other end of the field. Then, Partner Carry the entire length of the field, jog back, and flap jack. People’s Chair when done.

With just a few minutes left, YHC led the PAX to the basketball courts for a little bit of

MARY

YHC was toast, so he called on a couple guys to help:

• Nature Boy – Dying Cockroach
• Beaker – Hammers
• Recall – WWII
• Sky Blue – Freddy Mercurys

Thanks fellas!! We’re done.

COT

• Count-o-rama: 20 PAX
• Name-o-rama: Still 20. 3 RESPECTs, 17 meh
• Announcements: Yeah, there were a couple.
• Prayer requests: Khakis! Levi Moore. Ma Bell’s friend post cancer surgery, Shut In’s friend’s baby with blood count issues in the hospital, A PAX’s father-in-law (Earhart, maybe? Many apologies, the oxygen in my brain is only now getting back to normal levels), my friend’s uncle with brain tumor and surgery tomorrow.

MOLESKIN

• Yeah, I’ma go with Moleskin now. I think NMS has run it’s course. It was a good run, but I think the Moleskin needs to get back to it’s roots. Sorta like when your buddy from college, named something like Joey, decides he wants to start going by Joseph now that he’s out of school and into the real world.
• But, like Joseph, I have a feeling the Real World will have more of a say than Joe does. His new colleagues are going to call him whatever they want to call him. Besides, they have seniority. Why would they listen to this young, fresh-faced punk straight outta school? So he’s gunna have to just suck it up and deal with it like a man. Quit being a sissy, Joe.
• Freakin’ Millennials. #smdh
• On a serious note, there’s no other feeling quite like the one where you aren’t sure you will be able to get through the rest of the workout without cheating. It’s a mix of fear, overwhelming anxiety, a splash of panic, and topped with a generous portion of shame.
• So, not a good feeling.
• And that was literally only 10 minutes into the workout.
• What makes it worse was that at least half of the other guys were jogging around like it was no big deal.
• Screw all of you.
• At one point, I was dragging my sorry butt back across the field (walking) and Largemouth, who was uncharacteristically closer to the middle of the PAX than usual, jogged by and said “Good job by you, Cally”.
• Now, I understand his intention was purely to encourage and lift up his struggling brother. And for that, I am ever-thankful.
• But, in my mind, it was 100% sass mixed with 200% sarcasm mixed with 300% resentment (for being a terrible co-site-Q) mixed with 400% superiority (not his fault, by the way) to make up a giant, 1000% horse pill of “BAD JOB BY YOU, CALLY!!!”
• And he’s right.
• Yo, this is getting a little dark. Let’s move onto something a little lighter.
• Ma Bell licked his finger and held it in the air, trying to gauge the direction of the wind. After a moment, he moved behind YHC and upwind of the PAX before ripping a nice, juicy fart. Thanks Ma. Thanks a lot. #notmyNantan
• Just kidding…you’re totally my Nantan. Like, don’t ever listen to me. I’m incoherent at least 90% of the time.
• Hey, new-ish guys who want to come up with a good Q…check out the back blasts on the F3 site for ideas. You can find gold if you look hard enough.
• Just make sure to avoid anything written by Callahan…those workouts are garbage.
• But the NMS’s are top-notch!
• See. Sorry Joseph. It’s not us, it’s you.
• You haven’t lived until Riptide has ridden you like a wild Buffalo.
• Please allow the proper amount of time for that visual to sink deep into your subconscious.
• Thank you.
• Anytime you can publish the words “Ma Bell licked his finger and held it in the air, trying to gauge the direction of the wind” on the internet, you have to do it.
• Nature Boy dressed normal today. It was…weird.
• Evidently, the PAX of CARPEx have a general disdain for “the Charlotte way”. My bad guys. It won’t happen again.
• I think PBX may have had a stroke during the Name-o-rama today. The far-off stare legitimately worried me for a few moments.
• Airbag laying on his back during the count-o-rama with his arms in the air doing the Nixon “I’m Not A Crook” fingers was mildly entertaining as well.
• Related: Airbag hates a partner carry.
• Great work today fellas. I’m proud of the way you all worked your tails off and I’m thankful I get a chance to work out with you dopes on a regular basis.
• See you tomorrow.
• Ayyy, real quick…remember at the beginning of the year when I said I was going to make my back blasts more concise? LOL if you actually believed that mess.

Callahan