YHC drove up a little earlier than normal to find an already sizable crowd gathered in the back parking lot of Apex Community Park. The PAX were no doubt eager to see what Ma Bell had in store in the first workout of May 2016. They would soon find out. Denali derided YHC’s watch, claiming his was sync’d to satellite. Well ladi-freakin-da. Mine is sync’d to my digestive cycle, which is way more accurate. We had one FNG and after the disclaimer we were off – on time.

Easy-ish jog over to the lower parking lot and around once then circle up


  • The first exercise is (you guessed it): Standard Merkins x 15 IC, followed by
  • 15 x Chilly Jacks IC
  • 8 x Fingertip Merkins. Whole lotta gruntin’ going on
  • 10 x Good Mornings IC
  • 10 x Say Hey Willies IC (Hot Spot espoused how he calls them Ballsack Squats – or something like that)
  • 15 x O/H Claps IC

Jog over to big shelter for some leg work

20 x alternating L/R Step Ups IC with impressive synchronized clapping organized by Burt
15 x Little Man Jumping Jacks
10 x Prisoner Squats IC
Squat Hold with 10 4-count Pulses IC

Duck walk over to other shelter and repeato the above exercises, then Lunge Walk back to big shelter.

Jog down down to bottom of power line hill and find a spot for some Captain Thors – ascending number of big boy sit-ups followed by 4x American Hammers. We started with 1 BB Sit-up and 4 American Hammers, and worked our way up to 10 and 40, respectively. Lots of grunting about the time we got to 5. Pure pain by the end. Hey Burt, you got a sewing kit back at the car? Cause I am ripped!

Count off into 1s and 2s. 1s AYG up to the top of the hill, do 10 merkins and run back while 2s Chill-Cut Plank. Flapjack. Once everyone is back, squat hold with a 5 count around the circle.

Jog back up the hill and up toward the front of the park to the building in front of the playground and partner up for some Colonel Trautmans. P1 run to playground and do 5 pull-ups. P2 does either 5 fingertip merkins or 10 standard merkins then chill-cut plank hold until partner returns. Flapjack and repeato until team has done 40 pull-ups.

Indian run back to cars and onto the open basketball court for a set of 7s – merkins and LBCs. Squat hold while the 6s arrive. Meet me in the middle of the court for:


  • 15 x Box Cutters
  • 10 x Low Slow Flutters
  • 10 x Rosalitas
  • 10 x WW II Sit-Ups

Count-o-rama: 19
Name-o-rama:4 RESPECTS, 15 Mehs, 0 Hates – including 1 FNG, Gemini. Welcome!
Announcements: 12 May Pig Pickin’ by McCants’ leadership class, 15 May Q School at Carrol Middle, 17 May 2nd/3rd F Event at SE Raleigh
Prayer Requests: None Verbalized

Ma Bell took us out


Best quote of the day is by Chinese Downhill, today being his first exposure to Burt: “He sure has a lot of energy doesn’t he?” That made the YHC chuckle. Chinese Downhill has now been sheep-dipped in the F3 Cary/Apex experience!

Bartman posted in Nattytown Saturday and ran into the other Bartman. How awkward that must have been. I’M Bartman! No, I am! Are not! Am too! How were his calves? Do they also look like a snake that swallowed a rope? Did you Bartnerkin with him? Bartner Carries? Does he ruck? Does he also have a proprietary routing protocol on his license plate? Ooh, do you have the same birthday? Did you vow to keep in touch and exchange Christmas Cards? Will they make a Lifetime movie? Maybe a 30-for-30?

It was an honor and a pleasure to lead a fine group of men today. If you liked that, come on out to FOD Tuesday for round 2 of the Ma Bell double shot. Start your week – and your May – off right!