Danger Zone 9/2/16 Pre-blast: FITNESS TEST

Y’all. It’s finally here. I had to sign up like two freakin months ago to get a Q slot to do this thang. But it’s finally time. Would have been nice to get a Q slot while it was still light outside in the early gloom, but nooooo! DZ is just too darned popular for it’s own good sometimes. Anyway, this is gunna be good.

I’ll have reminder signs printed and left at each station, but you might want to bring a headlamp to use until it starts to lighten up a bit. Here’s what we’ll do:

WARM UP

Circle up for a good, thorough warm-up. ~5 mintues.

THE THANG

Starting at the fist split at the top of the trails (just outside Smurf Island), we’ll do laps in a figure 8 pattern with seven different stops and nine exercises total.

1. Stop #1: At the top of the trail, start with 10 burpees OYO. Then run STRAIGHT down the path to the Long-Ass Suspension (LAS) Bridge, which is Stop #….
2. On the short wall, 10 Box jumps OYO. After that, Bear Crawl the LAS Bridge all the way to the other side for Stop #…
3. 20 Merkins (single count) OYO. from there, run down to the overlook, which is Stop #…
4. 10 Irkens and 10 Derkins OYO. Then over to the DZ stairway (this is where the headlamps will be most helpful). At the top, you’ll be at Stop #…
5. On the wall, 15 Alternating Left/Right Step-Ups (left and right equals one rep). When finished, run down the path (to the right) back toward the LAS Bridge. Once there, you’ll be at Stop #…
6. On the short wall, 20 Dips (single count). Once finished, go right ahead and Bear Crawl that LAS Bridge again. At the other end you’ll find yourself at Stop #…
7. 20 Prisoner Squats (hands behind your head, y’all). When finished, run back to the starting point (to the left, up the hill) and REPEATO!!

SUMMARY:

Stops:

1. Top of the hill
2. South end of LAS Bridge
3. North end of LAS Bridge
4. Overlook
5. Top of stairway to hell
6. South end of LAS Bridge
7. North end of LAS Bridge (and loop back to Stop #1)

Exercises:

1. 10 Burpees
2. 10 Box Jumps
3. Bear Crawl LAS Bridge
4. 20 Merkins (single count)
5. 10 Irkens and 10 Derkins
6. 15 Alternating Left/Right Step Ups (left and right = 1 rep….so, in cadence, if you will. Oh, and clapping negates any reps you do, so…yeah)
7. 20 Dips (single count)
8. Bear Crawl LAS Bridge
9. 20 Prisoner Squats (single count) – then loop back to Stop #1.

COOL DOWN/MARY:

Some guys may be at the bottom of the hill when the air horn sounds, so we’ll gather at Smurf Island and stay busy while we regroup. Once everyone is in, we’ll start COT right away so I don’t keep everyone too long. I’m sure we’ll be plenty worked out even if we stop a few minutes early.

A few items:

• I’ll be relying on the PAX to keep track of their laps and stopping point. I’ll record it at the COT and we’ll hoot and holler for eachother’s accomplishments.
• This will be AMLAP for 35 minutes.
• The figure-8 course is right around .45 miles.
• There is quite a bit of elevation change.
• If anyone has strava capabilities, I’d love to see the course, distance, and elevation change mapped out. Shoot me an email with the link and I’ll post it in the BB.
• You’ll notice that Stop #2 and Stop #6 are at the same place. Same goes for Stop #3 and Stop #7. It’ll make sense once we bust out the first lap.
• On the Bear Crawls, slower PAX keep to the RIGHT, faster PAX to the LEFT.
• Just. Keep. Moving. Look, each guy is going to be at a different fitness level. You’re not competing with anyone else. You are competing against yourself. The idea here is to set a baseline, then do this again in another 3-6 months to measure your personal improvement.
• Newer guys probably have a higher upside. Guys like me will really have to work hard to maintain!
• That said, don’t cheat. Focus on form. If you have to pause and rest on the bear crawl, do it. Don’t just walk the rest of the bridge tho. Wait until you feel ready to continue, and then continue.
• If you cheat, it’ll be harder to gauge your true improvement. By cheating, you might get four laps, but you will be half-assing it. In 6 months, if you do everything full-assed, you may still only get 4 laps. It’ll look like you haven’t improved, but in reality you have. So don’t worry about setting the bar lower than you want. Make sure that bar accurately reflects where you are from a fitness perspective. I don’t care if that means it takes you 5 minutes to do the Burpees at the top. Just be accurate.
• I am getting waaaay too serious about this and I love it.
• Every burpee you skip kills a Panda bear. Don’t be a murderer, ya dig?
• I’ll try to remember to bring an air horn, or something, to signify when the 35 minutes is up.
• Anybody have an air horn?
• My initial goal is 5 complete laps. I may not make it, but that’ll be my personal goal. I have a feeling this’ll get harder the longer we do it. What do you think?
• Like I said before, you are competing against yourself. So push yourself. Dig deep and find the will to keep going. Encourage eachother to go farther. Push eachother, whether by words of encouragement, or (if you can’t breathe) a swat on the ass as you pass. Remember, Iron Sharpens Iron.
• This should be a lot of fun. And by fun, I mean…well, I’ll let you decide.
• I really hope the 2.0 has a good night Thursday night so I can actually show up for this!
• Largemouth will not be here this week, so if there is an emergency and I can’t post, I’ve laid out the instructions here…so go do it.
• But, really…I’ll be there.
• Longest. Pre-blast. Ever. I can just hear Riptide pissily reading this aloud in his bathroom while on the john and then complaining to his M about how ridiculous this whole thing is.
• See you in the gloom!

Callahan