Our brother, Dufresne (Jim Young), passed away around 3:00 am this past Friday morning, June 27 following a long and heroic battle with Chronic Lyme disease. Below is his obituary, along with details on visitation and funeral services. All members of F3Nation are welcome.
Saturday, July 5
6:00 – 8:00 pm
Renaissance Funeral Home
7615 Six Forks Road
Sunday, July 6
Edenton Street United Methodist Church
228 West Edenton Street
The #Hopebuilder Back Story
Hopebuilder was inspired by Dufresne (Jim Young). Jim and his wife, Erica Kosal, are members of Edenton Street United Methodist Church which is where YHC, Maize, and Grillz first met them. The catalyst for Hopebuilder was an email from Erica letting our Sunday school know Jim had lost his physical therapy services and asking if anyone could come help him with his PT exercises. Chronic Lyme disease had been so hard on Jim he was unable to meet performance goals as set by his insurance carrier. He relied on a ventilator since Chronic Lyme disease had reduced the strength of his diaphragm and he was unable to breathe on his own. Additionally, he suffered significant muscle atrophy and was unable to walk or stand. Therefore, PT services were cancelled. YHC will confess MTony Robbins put forth the challenge, “Isn’t this something you F3 guys could help with.” It was and that’s how it began. Three guys going to visit Dufresne, not having a clue about PT, but willing to do whatever we could to help a brother and family in need. Those of us in F3 met Jim after his battle with Chronic Lyme disease was underway. He was not able to come to F3 workouts, so we came to him. Once a vibrant, active father who enjoyed golf, working out, the outdoors, times with family and a strong network of friends, over time, Chronic Lyme disease robbed him of what many of us take for granted.
Jim’s F3 handle came from one of his favorite movies, Shawshank Redemption and it’s title character, Andy Dufresne, played by Tim Robbins. Hopebuilder grew over time with more men coming to workout with him. We were all out of our comfort zones and Dufresne handled our ineptitude with good humor. After working out with Dufresne for a while and learning how determined he was, we settled on a goal of Dufresne being back to bear weight on his legs by the end of Feburary 2014. Dufresne embraced this goal with gusto.
Most of our workouts and visits overlapped with the schedule of Chris, Dufresne’s in-home nurse. Chris was as much a part of our visits as any member of F3 and much like a member of the family. As Maize shared, “His care for Dufresne is something that left a significant impression on me personally. To me there was no coincidence in Chris returning Thursday afternoon from being gone five days the previous week. Dufresne hung in there to see/hear him one last time.” In December of 2013, Dufresne was hospitalized and we shifted the focus of Hopebuilder from workouts to visits. It remained that way until our final visit with Dufresne, on Thursday, June 26. While we were there to serve him, most of the PAX would agree we were the ones who learned and gained the most. A few things YHC has learned thus far…
- How a devoted spouse demonstrates love through hope and caring no matter what it takes.
- How essential perseverance is (DFQ).
- How a simple smile can change your entire perspective on life.
- And in the words of Andy Dufresne from Shawshank Redemption, knowing that “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best thing, and that no good thing ever dies.”
- From Maize – The love for Jim that Erica showed consistently was incredible. Seeing her run her hand through his hair and kiss his forehead while in the hospital last December was very touching.
YHC invites you to add to this list in the comments with what you learned or how you were impacted by Dufresne. That may be one part of Dufresne’s legacy. This certainly isn’t an end to Hopebuilder, just a leg of the journey. Erica, Braxton (Pack Man), and Annalise can use our service in the days and weeks ahead. We’ll take our cue from MDufresne so keep your eye out for opportunities in the near future. As Money Hose stated in a previous backblast, “He’s our rock of Gibralter.” If you had the good fortune to join us for a Hopebuilder workout or subsequent visit, you know how remarkable Dufresne was and how strong MDufresne (Erica Kosal) is. YHC invites you to read through the Hopebuilder backblasts if you knew Dufresne and especially if you didn’t. It’s pure F3 – meaningful, powerful, funny, hard, but above all, hopeful.
Shortly after setting our goal of having Dufresne bearing weight on his legs by the end of February 2014, we still were not sure what the future held. How would we know we were successful? Were we doing the right things. White Shoe once said, “It will be a great day when Dufresne joins us out on the field for a workout.” As of Friday morning, Dufresne is no longer limited by pain, Chronic Lyme disease, or suffering. He’ll also be on the field with us for F3.