8 PAX slowly made their way to The Burt Center on a calm and mild morning. YHC sent a cryptic tweet the night before proclaiming we’d be running in circles most of the day. I scouted the grounds of Bond Park, wanting to go somewhere I hadn’t been before. I was surprised to see that there were a total of seven baseball diamonds at Bond Park. I think I only knew of three. The idea was born.
Leave the Burt Center and jog past the Hill and Dale, stopping in the middle of the road for:
- SSH x 20
- Good Morning x 10 IC
- Sir Fazio x 10, each direction
- Sumo Squats x 15 IC
Jog the rest of the way to Field #1
Having seen the 7 diamonds on Google Maps, YHC decided to dish out some baseball-themed pain. The goal was to stop at each field and do something torturous at each stop. YHC knew that what was planned would probably take 80 miuntes. That’s longer than 60 minutes. So we had to hurry.
Break up into 1s and 2s –
- 1s – BTTW; 2s – run the bases; flapjack
- 1s – People’s chair; 2s- run bases TWICE; flapjack
- 1s – Plank; 2s – run bases THRICE; flapjack
1s – LBC AMRAP; 2s – run bases QWICE (4 times?); flapjack
Recover on the jog to:
- 1s bear crawl to 1st base while 2s do Merkins AMRAP. Once 1s make it to 1st base, 2s bear crawl while 1s Merkin.
- Next, 1s crab walk to 2nd base while 2s squat jump; switch until 2s catch 1s
- Next, 1s Gorilla Hop to 3rd while 2s do Carolina Dry Docks. Switch until 2s catch up
- Next, 1s Crawl bear to Home while 2s do Monkey Humpers; switch until 2s get home
Recover on the jog to:
Partner up. As a pair, complete 100 merkins,
200 100 squats, and 300 100 LBCs – one partner runs the bases while the other does the exercise, then flapjack when the first partner gets back.
Recover on the …. wait, what? TOC is working on Field #4? Fine. Stay at Field #3 and do what we were supposed to do at Field #4.
- Run to 1st, 10 J.Lo’s
- Run to 2nd, 20 Freddy Mercurys
- Run to Third, 30 Low Dollys
- Run home, 40 LBCs
- Repeato the set
Repeato the set
Recover on the jog past Field #4 and over to the amphitheater for a little intermission:
- Dips x 15 IC
- Irkins x 15
- Dirkins x 15
Recover on the jog past the New Hampshire overlook, through the woods, past the dudes playing cricket, finally showing up at:
- All PAX plank. One at a time, each PAX sprints the bases. Hold plank until everyone runs.
All PAX people’s chair. One at a time, each PAX sprints the bases. Hold people’s chair until everyone runs
Recover on the … oh, c’mon! Field #6 is occupied by the aforementioned Cricketeers. Lame. We stayed at Field #5 to do the following:
- Hit for the cycle
- Line up behind home plate, sprint to first one PAX at a time, job back home.
- Next, one at a time, sprint to second (via first base), jog home.
- Next, one at a time, sprint to Third (via 1st and 2nd), jog home
- Next, one at a time, sprint around all the bases. People’s Chair when finished.
YHC, perturbed to have been robbed of the opportunity to hit Field #4 and Field #6, threw a mini hissy-fit and decided to skip Field #7 altogether. In reality, we were running out of time. Plus, YHC was too gassed from the sprints to do what he had planned for Field #7. Instead, recover on the jog to:
The Picnic Shelter that always smells like Hot Garbage:
- Irkins x 15
- Dirkins x 15
- The French Dip (5ct down 5ct up, 4ct down 4ct up, 3ct down, etc. down to 1ct, then back up to 5ct)
Jog up the hill to the Billy Run Starting Line. Pause for tardy Cricketeer trying to figure out where to go with his wicket. Thanks Denali for pointing him in the right direction. Next, Billy Run back to the start.
- Nam-o-rama: 8 PAX
- Count-o-rama: still 8 PAX – 1 RESPECT, 1 hate, 6 mehs
- Announcements: blah blah Bull blah blah
- Prayer requests: one was mentioned.
- YHC took us out
- It’s too bad we didn’t have 9 PAX, as that would have tied into the baseball theme quite nicely. Oh well.
- As for the eight of us there, here’s my line-up:
- Leading off: 2nd Baseman – Bartman. He’s tall and has range. Great base runner.
- In the 2 spot: 3rd Baseman – Fluoride. He’s got a cannon for an arm. Has a high on-base percentage. His patience at the plate is amazing.
- Batting third: Catcher – Tecumseh. Tecumseh is the catcher because I love having a guy behind the plate that can talk a batter’s ear off. Get in the guy’s head. That’s what I need from my catcher. Has a smaller strike zone, so he gets on base frequently.
- Batting clean-up: 1st Baseman – Ollie. Provides a big target at 1st base. Hits for power. Leads the team in homers and strikeouts. High variability player, but gotta love him.
- Batting 5th: Left Fielder – Michelob. Good runner with a solid batting average. Makes at least one SportsCenter highlight catch each game.
- Batting 6th: Center Fielder – Denali. Again, rangy player that covers space quickly. Has a middle-of-the-road batting average only because he cares deeply for the birds of the air. He reasons that the more balls he puts in play, the higher the likelihood he accidentally hits a fowl with a foul.
- Batting 7th: Right Fielder – Shut In. Good speed, but gets buried on the line up card because he’s got ADHD and forgets that he’s playing baseball from time to time. And yes, he’s the only teammate who wears the knickers and knee socks. God bless him.
- Batting 8th: Left Handed Pitcher – Callahan, because I’m a southpaw and I’m writing this, so I get to be the pitcher. Deal with it. Leads all Pitchers in batting average with a respectable .298, because again, I’m writing this and you’re not. Has and ERA of 2.68, but only because TOC roughed YHC up in the first game of the year. Have been lights out ever since.
- Batting 9th: Short Stop – Bartman’s calves. Can’t hit worth a damn, but has hops like you wouldn’t believe. Definitely known as a defensive specialist.
- I had way too much fun with that.
- TOC once again had to spoil my best intentions. When will I learn?
- Ollie asked why I had beef with TOC. Denali asked what TOC was. YHC remained silent. This is neither the time nor the place. They may be watching.
- Cricket? C’mon, man.
- I may or may not have gotten a little lost and taken the long way through the woods. Jury is still out on that one
- I was surprised at how few people showed up, but then realized it was Easter weekend.
- As this workout was happening, somewhere in Jamaica, Ma Bell was stumbling back to his condo singing “Sweet Caroline” with a group of coeds he met at the club the night before. He was wearing his dressy overalls and challenging his new friends to “Merkin Contests”. The frat bros had no idea what he was talking about, so they just kept chugging bear every time Ma Bell said the word Merkin. The girls were digging his bandana, but M.Ma Bell wasn’t having it. She was decking chicks left and right, ripping out fake hair like she was getting paid to do it. Meanwhile, Capt. Hook was at home wondering why he was at home and his parents were on Spring Break.
- Man, I really hope Ma Bell still has cornrows with beads braided in when he gets back
- There was a Blue Whale kite stuck in a tree by the dam. I think that might mean something. I just don’t know what it is yet. I’ll get back to you on that.
- Since Burt wasn’t around, we didn’t feel like we had enough fire power to get into the doors at Le Farm. He’s tight with the owner, from what I hear on the street.
- 80 minutes > 60 minutes. Everything above with strike-through text is stuff we didn’t do that we were supposed to do. Time flies when you’re having fun.
- For the record, Field #7 was going to be a Jacob’s ladder with burpees and base-running. You’re welcome.