21 men arrived to judge and be judged. The format of the trial had been established in a briefing the night before. But upon reviewing the evidence at the scene, the loop YHC had outlined was clearly too long. Let’s keep this briefer. At the Judge, running distance is time based anyway, the hill will still be the hill and will still suck, so a slight deviation in loop distance is irrelevant. But I digress. The first order of business was to find the back of the old building, and circle up for YHC’s opening statement:
SSH x46 IC
It was at this point, with the jury out of breath, that the above mentioned change was introduced. There were no objections.
With that out of the way, the trial phase began, and we moved the entire party to the top of the hill where we could observe the land laid before us. Along the way, partner up with someone.
Once on top of the grassy knoll, the remainder of the format was outlined. We will be running in one big circle. Along the way, there will be four pain stations: 1) here at the top of the grassy knoll. 2) behind the DoJo at the giant kite. 3) at the dam path split. And 4) at the bottom of the hill. At these stops we’ll do the following exercises, starting with 20 reps on the first lap, then reducing reps by 2 on each subsequent lap. Most made it through 4 or 5 laps:
Stop 1: Partner Hand-Clap Merkins & LBCs
Stop 2: LBCs & Sumo Squats
Stop 3: Sumo Squats & Dying Cockroaches
Stop 4: Dying Cockroaches & Partner Hand-Clap Merkins
NOTE: The above counts were also a deviation from the predetermined plan, which were to be 23×2 (46) at each stop, a perfect tie-in to YHC birthday. But this just seemed absolutely ludicrous, and self-centered, so YHC objected to his own brief, and asked the court to consider a different story. Again, there were no objections.
At 6:08 court had to be called to order, and we ran the route backwards until we had everyone accounted for. At that point we returned to the parking area and circled up for one last closing argument:
Box Cutters x23 IC
In the end, 21 men decided their own fates. They pushed each other and got better. The loop was made smaller, and the count decreased on each lap, but none of that made anything any easier. Pleased with the work presented to the judge on this day, the case was dismissed. YHC turned another year older and we all went home. Or to coffee.
Always an Honor,
Shaggy
