A gorgeous temperature of 68 degrees and a smattering of clouds welcomed YHC to Cary’s premiere AO…the DangerZone. With the appropriate tank donned, I set out a few minutes early to set up the festivities surrounding the final day of Twenty-HATE!!!!!!! for the PAX to enjoy.
As I strolled back to the warm-up spot, I saw a good number of gents ready for a little pain and gain. 13 loyal PAX followed me around the parking lot over to the basketball courts for:
Warm Up
- SSH x twenty-hate
- Plank Jacks x 29 [led by my tutor…BURT!! (all caps meanings I’m yelling)]
- Good Mornings x 15
- Dan Jansens x 15 (accompanied by heavy mumble-chatter)
- SFAC Forward and Back x 10 each
The Thang
YHC led the PAX to Smurf Island and broke them into two groups. Group 1 stays at the playground and does pull-ups AMRAP, whilst Group 2 takes a leisurely jog over yonder, around, and back. Flapjack. Next, G1 does Irkens while G2 runs, and flapjack. Lastly, G1 performs flawless Homer-to-Marge while G2 disappears into the gloom, only to return slightly winded. Flapjack. Upon G1’s return after their final jog, they stumbled upon a conversation between G2 PAX discussing Glute’s and the like. G1 complained that it was not FNG friendly chatter, or maybe it was??
The PAX then followed YHC to the soccer fields and instantly noted the presence of cones, seemingly set out in a semi-organized fashion. Time for STARBURST: Five stations, Start in the middle and move like an animal to each station (like Bear Crawl, Crabwalk, Lungewalk, Gorilla Hop, etc.), returning to the center after each station. Upon returning to the center, 10 SSH. Rotate between the 5 stations until all are defeated.
- 10 Burpees
- 20 Star Jumps
- 30 Merkins
- 40 Squats
- 50 X’s+O’s
Many PAX were confused and it took a surprisingly long time for people to catch on. YHC attributes that to old age and crustiness. Once everyone was finished, I felt we had sufficient time to REPEATO. So we did. And it hurt.
With 5 minutes to spare, we grabbed the cones and headed for the basketball courts. Upon arriving, the PAX lined up on the fence for People’s Chair. We counted off 1’s and 2’s. The odds switched to Balls to the Wall and the evens were told to get lower in their crouch. Not fully realizing what I had done, YHC had to make a quick audible as the mumble-chatter got incredibly inappropriate based on the staggered positioning of the PAX. No flapjack, let’s just get the hell outta here. Hadn’t thought that one through. Yikes.
We circled up and finished up with Freddy Mercury x 29.
COT
The usual assortment of half-baked announcements wherein one mentions the event, but can’t recall any of the details, so said person urges the rest of the guys to check the interwebs. Again, I blame the collective age for the memory issues.
Prayers for moron teenagers and young adults heading back to college to make good decisions that will not destroy their lives years down the road (can you tell I’m a little salty?) and also for the PAX that are currently unemployed and looking for work.
NMS
It was an overly raucous and vocal crowd this morning, which just so happens to be my favorite sort of group to lead. It was the best birthday gift I could have received from the PAX, and they delivered without knowing they were bringing me great joy. I appreciate all the barbs and chastisements, and I promise to return them in full the next time you all Q. Thanks for the opportunity to lead. See you soon in the gloom.
– Calla-HATE!!!!!!!!@#!!!$!$!%^!&!!&!P!!!^!)!*!!^!!@!$!$!!#!!$!$!!!!
