An ode to the Lannisters (or how Derrick Deshaun Watson ruined my day … again)

The risk of wager is loss, and in this case, debt. In this case, the debt owed was one workout Q’d in the finest knock-off, gray-market, wholly-unauthorized, copyright-infringing, Clemson gear that my man Popeye could find in the dark corners of the interwebs.

YHC took the field clad in orange and purple from head to toe: 1978 Danny Ford-era mesh back cap, Watson #4 jersey, “Nike” Clemson Football undershirt, and bright orange knee-high socks. And off we went:

Gettin’ loose:
- 20 SSH
- 20 IW
- 20 Mountain Climbers
- 20 Good Mornings
Main event:
- 2 mile loop divided (roughly, very roughly) into four quarters (see what I did there) with the following at each quarter pole:
  - Q1 — 7 double merican burpees
  - Q2 — 14 prisoner squats / 7 eight-count man-makers
  - Q3 — 24 standard mericans / 14 jump squats
  - Q4 — 31 diamond mericans / 35 burpees
- AYG sprint across the bridge:
  - 40 flutter kicks / 45 heels-to-heaven (because history is important)
- Shuffle down the dam hill:
  - Bear crawl up #1 (Phoenix)
  - Bear crawl up #2 (Tampa)
  - Bear crawl up #3 (Atlanta?)
- Mosey down to the parking lot for a little Mary:
  - Freddies x20
  - Plank x 2:00(ish)
- Fin

Moleskine:

So I roll into the parking lot with all this Clemson gear on, only to be greeted by Popeye blasting at full volume the final 30 seconds of the most recent amateur football championship for young men studying at university. #nicetouch
The hazing was, candidly, a little mild. I suppose there’s little joy in kicking a man while he’s down (though I did expect that maxim to get tested today).
Haven House charity cornhole showdown is just around the corner–May 21. 2-person teams, get signed up now. All questions to Goobs.
There are rumors that Heavy Metal will again rise like a Phoenix from the ashes for a summer series. Only time will tell.
Vila did an adequate job taking us out.
As always, it’s an honor to be with you in the gloom.

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