My virgin Site-Q at Shakin (sp?), Not Stirred could have been under better circumstances, but when you lose a bet, you gotta pay the piper. Such was the case this AM, so I awoke and made my way to Bond Park ready for a wardrobe change. When I arrived, the bet winner was not present. I thought I might get away with not having to dress like a buffoon in Va Tech gear with a foam Wild Turkey hat, but alas, Burt showed up to collect on his sagely won wager. My Boilermakers got their butts handed to them on a silver platter last Saturday thanks to Beamer Ball, so I was doomed to don a ridiculous foam hat and a 100% cotton VT tee, sleeves still attached (shout out to my main man Rip).
So there was that. To make matters worse, I woke up with a bit of a head cold. Can’t hear out of my left ear. It worked out though, because it helped to muffle the incessant mumble chatter coming from my big bro. Needless to say, I was in a sour mood and the 15 PAX paid dearly for the sins of others with a mamma jamma of a beatdown.
So promptly at 0530, in 66 degree weather with 81% humidity, we hit the road to the kiosk for…
WARM-UP
- Reverse Sir Fazio Arm Circles x 15
- Forward Sir Fazio Arm Circles x 15
- Good morning x 15
- Imperial Walkers x 20
- SSH x 25
The Thang
Next, I explained my affinity for ladders and decided that the hill behind us would make a great place to work on a few Jacob’s Ladders. The goal being, of course, to make the PAX holler SHOOT and other profanities. Get it? Shoots, and ladders? See what I did there? Enough of that…
- Ladder 1 – Burpees, 1 at the bottom, 2 at the top, 3 at the bottom…..up to 7 total. Then plank-o-rama
- Ladder 2 – Jump squats up to 7, then plank-o-rama
- Ladder 3 – JLo’s up to 7, then plank-o-rama
I don’t know about anyone else, but I believe deep down in my soul that the hill somehow grew a few feet over the summer. Anyone else?
Next we took a nice jog over to the boat house and circled up so I could explain the next painful exercise. We counted off into 3 groups. Group 1 heads to the monkey bars where, one at a time, they cross the monkey bars, but do a pull up on each bar. The other PAX in the group plank while they wait. Once all the PAX are finished, they run as a group over to the boathouse to replace group 2. The “Monkey Bars Straight From The Pits Of Hell” sounded fairly easy, but indeed it was not. It garnered a few comments along the lines of, “I have a new-found respect for those American Ninja Warrior people.” Boiler. Up.
Group 2 stays at the boathouse and does AMRAP Dips, Dirkens, and Wide-Grip Merkins until Group 1 relieves them. Once Group 1 shows up, they run over to Group 3 and relieve them.
Group 3 starts at the picnic shelter at the end of the parking lot and does AMRAP Squats and Alternating Left-Right Step Ups until Group 2 comes to relieve them. Once Group 2 arrives, Group 3 runs to the Monkey bars and repeats the cycle, relieving Group 1 at the boathouse when they are all finished.
Each Group ends up doing each station once. Sounds complicated, but it wasn’t. The plan was to repeat this cycle 3 times, but alas, time was not our friend this AM, so we finished up one cycle then slowly made our way back to the kiosk.
Squat hold at the kiosk until everyone is in, then ALL YOU GOT to the top of the hill. We boogied up to the top, then circled up on the street for a quick Mary interlude. Freddy Mercuries x 20, Box Cutters x 20.
Next, we moseyed through the woods and upon reaching the main road, we boogied Billy-Style back to the cars, AS FAST AS YOU CAN!! Once back at the lot, circle up for a nice 29-count of LBCs. That’s all folks.
COT
Big prayers go out to Large Mouth’s friend, Mary Catherine, and her family as she lost her husband to a tragic cycling accident over the weekend at a charity event. Prayers for peace and comfort. Also for Saban’s father who was diagnosed with prostate cancer, prayers for healing and wisdom for his doctor’s as they work to treat the cancer. Prayers for all the PAX struggling with unemployment, peace and patience are needed. In Jesus’ name!!
NMS
Despite my salty outlook and sour mood this morning, there was no place I would rather be. I derive a lot of strength from my brothers each morning I am able to come out and sweat with the best. I appreciate all of you, especially in this season of life. I am encouraged by each of you and reminded that certain phases of life, no matter how unpredictable, they are temporary and I have control of they way I react. The pain I feel while trudging up a hill will pass with time, just like the uncertainty of being unemployed and lacking answers. I see the lives of the men, who by the way are MUCH older and wiser than I, and I can’t help but feel some level of security knowing that I, too, will be successful as long as I am willing to go through life with other people rather than isolating and shutting people out. I cannot do it on my own. You guys have learned this secret, and I’m just now figuring it out. I have heard from multiple people that they want to help me because they have gone through the same exact thing at some point in their own life, and now they want to help in any way they can. I too will someday be able to pass along encouragement and support. The men I have had the honor of meeting here have been a great example of what it means to be a real man. Praise God for each of you.
Off the soapbox now. Come to Danger Zone on Friday. I will hurt you again!! Can you handle a double dose??
Callahan
